Needing

i feel very strange, like nothing is worth it.
its not worrieing, its just an emptyness.
i dont want to do anything, i dont want to watch t.v i dont want to not watch t.v i dont want to draw i dont want to listen to music i dont want to have silence
i want to do something but, i dont know what to do.
still sat half watching the t.v and half talking to people.
gah i hate this.
i feel like i need something exiting to happen, something new.
i need a male influence on my life, i need a balance.
i need something dammit!