i love house so much! i got the box set season 2 for christmas, that means 24 hour episodes, currently on disc 4 episode 2, just past half way through woohoo!
i love him so so much, hugh laurie i mean.
dads angry again for some unknown reason. and he is taking it out on me, i can always tell because he pics up on the stupid little things that useualy he wouldnt give a shit about, things that he has actualy said he doesnt give a shit about,he just wants to shout at someone. i got up on time today and the first thing both of my parents did was shout at me, lovely.
re aranging my book shelves, its kinda depressing i have all my series together but then when i put them in alphabetical order, some series have to be brocken off and spread across two shelves, annoying as hell!
right off to work for my wonderful, kind, just, calm, unemotionaly driven father.
wish me luck.
hey it must have worked! im working in the house hell yeah! no freezing cold, menial boring garden work, i can clean bathrooms, i dont mind cleaning bathrooms yey.
michelle and jess coming over soon ^-^ hopefully anyway, its all very confusing. i have this vision of it being really awkward and there just being silence... uhg.
i really love house, listenig to blink182 cleaning the kitchen its mindless work, but oh well and besides the box of roses chocolates is open :P
lunch now yum.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Saturday, December 23, 2006
hicky from Kinicky? no Jess.
sat now watching life of brian with brother dear (biggus dickcus)i actualy fell asleep today in my clothes and i woke up with that damp sweaty feeling that comes from sleeping in said garments. not very nice i assure you.
the last couple of days have been really buisy which is cool, because it means i have a social life. Hannah Robins's party was interesting.
i fourced myself to get drunk, just to improve what was looking to be a dismal and depressing evening. lots of people smoking which suprised me, even polly! and alex which made me sad. jess roberts, sarah and brogan got scarily drunk, even before i got there. which was, disturbing. i never thought they would be that sort of person? to get that drunk so quickly.
ive never been drunk before and i dont really like it at all. i have one vivid memory of the night.
I am sat on a low sofa and finding it, very very hard to stand up and then findin it very hard to straighten my back and walk. the colours are very bright and the ceiling has replaced the wall infront of me confusin to say the least.
im sort of guilty. and slightly ashamed of myself. i am also a hypocrite.
i thought that becky would abandone me to go chasing after boys, but it ended up the other way round, well no i was hardly chasing them but i found Farrell and just talked to him for the rest of the night, ignoring becky.
at the time i really couldnt care.
when it was she who so desperatly wanted to 'get off with someone' ugh that expression makes me sick, its just gross!
Farrell was really nice, he has dusty blonde hair and a round face. slightly like a vision of bunny. i actualy thought he was another person when i began talking to him but again too drunk to be embarresed, and come on who could get a better ice breaker than that. eh heh.
it was his first house party too, and his first time drunk, so we stuck together (by mouth by the end of the night)yeyness.
so anyway, i think i may have stolen his kiss virginity which is slightly amusing, my mum said that he'd remember me now for the rest of his life as thats what you do with your first kiss? ha ha ha oops.
oh well. the rest of the party was nice i chatted to Farrell for ages, and then fell asleep on him. i kept waking up in a panic thinking that i would be late walking back to meet mum at the barrier. and then falling back to sleep (on him yey) then when the time came to actualy walk i remembered that i didnt know the way and no one was willing to go with me! i got really annoyed with them all actually untill Farrell said 'hey give me a second and i'll get my stuff and walk you' so we walked hand in hand in the fucking freezing cold up a huge hill at midnight. it was great!
then the next day was Beckies party i for saw it (because it was a group of people who i am (apart from a few) just aquaintances with) as an event were i would by the end of the night be sat in the corner on my own, bored out of my mind. but it wasnt which is a relife yey!
and oh yes, we managed to fit both jess and I into her sleeping bag together. and the next day i fucking with up with not one but TWO! hickies, which jess's MOTHER pointed out to me! yup great. >.<
oh well uhm theres not much else to say. im sort of looking forward to christmas in a strange way.
fathers behaviour is confusing. one second happy next second angry, oh well who knows.
i love the film 'Down with Love' (and V fo Vendetta) its just so funny, slightly moulin rogue esque and Ewan Mcgreggor lovelovelove he is so nice.
zomfg, ive just been texted by jesus AGAIN! getting ever so slightly creepy (but i love it :P) and the worst thing is i dont have any credit to i dont want to be evil and not text him :(
he keeps texting me (even if i dont reply) with updates on his life, like hes just gone to an iron maiden gig or just had a science test :S he's fourteen, i mean jess and harry is fine because harry acts so much older, i honestly thought he was sixteen. but jesus does not act so mature, and he uses text language. dear lord so does Farrell. i cant stand it it makes people 'sound' so stupid!
as my brother would say 'filthy dislecsics'
how is that for a post, congrats to you if youve bothered reading all the way down here!
the last couple of days have been really buisy which is cool, because it means i have a social life. Hannah Robins's party was interesting.
i fourced myself to get drunk, just to improve what was looking to be a dismal and depressing evening. lots of people smoking which suprised me, even polly! and alex which made me sad. jess roberts, sarah and brogan got scarily drunk, even before i got there. which was, disturbing. i never thought they would be that sort of person? to get that drunk so quickly.
ive never been drunk before and i dont really like it at all. i have one vivid memory of the night.
I am sat on a low sofa and finding it, very very hard to stand up and then findin it very hard to straighten my back and walk. the colours are very bright and the ceiling has replaced the wall infront of me confusin to say the least.
im sort of guilty. and slightly ashamed of myself. i am also a hypocrite.
i thought that becky would abandone me to go chasing after boys, but it ended up the other way round, well no i was hardly chasing them but i found Farrell and just talked to him for the rest of the night, ignoring becky.
at the time i really couldnt care.
when it was she who so desperatly wanted to 'get off with someone' ugh that expression makes me sick, its just gross!
Farrell was really nice, he has dusty blonde hair and a round face. slightly like a vision of bunny. i actualy thought he was another person when i began talking to him but again too drunk to be embarresed, and come on who could get a better ice breaker than that. eh heh.
it was his first house party too, and his first time drunk, so we stuck together (by mouth by the end of the night)yeyness.
so anyway, i think i may have stolen his kiss virginity which is slightly amusing, my mum said that he'd remember me now for the rest of his life as thats what you do with your first kiss? ha ha ha oops.
oh well. the rest of the party was nice i chatted to Farrell for ages, and then fell asleep on him. i kept waking up in a panic thinking that i would be late walking back to meet mum at the barrier. and then falling back to sleep (on him yey) then when the time came to actualy walk i remembered that i didnt know the way and no one was willing to go with me! i got really annoyed with them all actually untill Farrell said 'hey give me a second and i'll get my stuff and walk you' so we walked hand in hand in the fucking freezing cold up a huge hill at midnight. it was great!
then the next day was Beckies party i for saw it (because it was a group of people who i am (apart from a few) just aquaintances with) as an event were i would by the end of the night be sat in the corner on my own, bored out of my mind. but it wasnt which is a relife yey!
and oh yes, we managed to fit both jess and I into her sleeping bag together. and the next day i fucking with up with not one but TWO! hickies, which jess's MOTHER pointed out to me! yup great. >.<
oh well uhm theres not much else to say. im sort of looking forward to christmas in a strange way.
fathers behaviour is confusing. one second happy next second angry, oh well who knows.
i love the film 'Down with Love' (and V fo Vendetta) its just so funny, slightly moulin rogue esque and Ewan Mcgreggor lovelovelove he is so nice.
zomfg, ive just been texted by jesus AGAIN! getting ever so slightly creepy (but i love it :P) and the worst thing is i dont have any credit to i dont want to be evil and not text him :(
he keeps texting me (even if i dont reply) with updates on his life, like hes just gone to an iron maiden gig or just had a science test :S he's fourteen, i mean jess and harry is fine because harry acts so much older, i honestly thought he was sixteen. but jesus does not act so mature, and he uses text language. dear lord so does Farrell. i cant stand it it makes people 'sound' so stupid!
as my brother would say 'filthy dislecsics'
how is that for a post, congrats to you if youve bothered reading all the way down here!
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
When I am older, loosing my hair.
i cant wait to be like 23 and re0read all of this. i love doing stuff like that, re-reading diaries, looking over old poetry/drawings. that sort of thing though it is slightly depressing.
beatles title :p
okay bike ride herre i come! mp3 you had better be fuly charged!
beatles title :p
okay bike ride herre i come! mp3 you had better be fuly charged!
A fresh start.
first day of the holidays and im ill, great. thatnks god. actualy talking about he in the sky, i had a really cool conversation with him this morning whilst making my beagle.
okay i have been reading all my old blog entries (because im wiating for my mp3 to charge up so i can then go on a bike ride in an attempt to get some fresh air and hopefuly clear up my nose for tonight) and i really enjoyed it so i have decided i am going to try as best i can to start writing again. because i really dont post as much as i should.
dad is supposed to be away, but his train hit a cow on the way and it was canceled aparantly he got some pictures and i do actualy want to see them, i am not sick im just morbidly curious.
Hannah Robins's house party tonight and i am attending as a ball sack (santa has a sack and fancy parties are called balls so why not? i thought it was a bloody good idea!?) i actualy made it myself! well mum helped but yeah and it does really look quiet good! listening to michelle's cd track list (dancing with our hearts) i did the 'this is your life' song thing were you shuffle your mp3 and whatever comes out is your open credits, getting up, ect its mostly really cool (i will post the real thing later) its those sort of things that i dont know. not mean alot tome, but i get disapointed if they turn out to be crap.
life is pretty okay right now christmas soon and i am sort of looking forward to it. my dad is in a very unstable mood in general. one minute he will be laughing and making jokes the next he shall be really really angry. i dont like it, but its nothing i cant handle. not much has happened really?
lots of concerts (placebo was AMAZING and i think i owe an apologie to Lime for Josheph stalin (but stalin is spelt P R I C E) and wired was great, Jesus is 14 though which is slightly disturbing, but cute and funny. ever so slightly obsessive. made out with jess too :p shes an amazing kisser :p kukuku pictures to prove it!
i have an elfwood account, tre cool! but it takes so so long to update!!! grrrrrr.
thankgod miss Fairhurst is back i hated mrs elis with such a passion she is fine FOR A FUCKING KINDERGARTEN TEAHCER! and the worst of it is i dont wish her any sprt of horrible bodily harm like god i wish she'd fall down some stairs and die. she is welcome to do so. but i dont wish it to be so? Mrs fucing erogloo can though...
bitch...
ah well on that malific (is that even a word?) note i leave you.
and if i am to die...
remember what a kind lovely wonderful forgiving and open minded person i am. was.
okay i have been reading all my old blog entries (because im wiating for my mp3 to charge up so i can then go on a bike ride in an attempt to get some fresh air and hopefuly clear up my nose for tonight) and i really enjoyed it so i have decided i am going to try as best i can to start writing again. because i really dont post as much as i should.
dad is supposed to be away, but his train hit a cow on the way and it was canceled aparantly he got some pictures and i do actualy want to see them, i am not sick im just morbidly curious.
Hannah Robins's house party tonight and i am attending as a ball sack (santa has a sack and fancy parties are called balls so why not? i thought it was a bloody good idea!?) i actualy made it myself! well mum helped but yeah and it does really look quiet good! listening to michelle's cd track list (dancing with our hearts) i did the 'this is your life' song thing were you shuffle your mp3 and whatever comes out is your open credits, getting up, ect its mostly really cool (i will post the real thing later) its those sort of things that i dont know. not mean alot tome, but i get disapointed if they turn out to be crap.
life is pretty okay right now christmas soon and i am sort of looking forward to it. my dad is in a very unstable mood in general. one minute he will be laughing and making jokes the next he shall be really really angry. i dont like it, but its nothing i cant handle. not much has happened really?
lots of concerts (placebo was AMAZING and i think i owe an apologie to Lime for Josheph stalin (but stalin is spelt P R I C E) and wired was great, Jesus is 14 though which is slightly disturbing, but cute and funny. ever so slightly obsessive. made out with jess too :p shes an amazing kisser :p kukuku pictures to prove it!
i have an elfwood account, tre cool! but it takes so so long to update!!! grrrrrr.
thankgod miss Fairhurst is back i hated mrs elis with such a passion she is fine FOR A FUCKING KINDERGARTEN TEAHCER! and the worst of it is i dont wish her any sprt of horrible bodily harm like god i wish she'd fall down some stairs and die. she is welcome to do so. but i dont wish it to be so? Mrs fucing erogloo can though...
bitch...
ah well on that malific (is that even a word?) note i leave you.
and if i am to die...
remember what a kind lovely wonderful forgiving and open minded person i am. was.
Friday, November 24, 2006
Nose Bleed
always wanted to draw something like this, i think with alittle refining this is what i want for an album cover for a band (possibly Marmite)
the origional picture is nicked from Bjork's video 'Hidden Place'.
love her.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Family
i have just had an argument with my father and now we are about to pose for a family photo. biggest bunch of lies ever known to man kind. i had to shower to wash my hair and i cryed all the way through it. it is a joke. this family is a joke. i have so many things to say but i have just lost the energy for it.
this is after the photo has been taken, father actualy threatened to punish us if we didnt look like we were a nice happy family.
that i belive says it all.
the only thing keeping me in this family is my inability to leave.
and william.
this is after the photo has been taken, father actualy threatened to punish us if we didnt look like we were a nice happy family.
that i belive says it all.
the only thing keeping me in this family is my inability to leave.
and william.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Bookshelves
My bookshelves i am really happy with them they look amazing and i have my sort of alter on the middle shelf....
its not really an alter yet but early days ^-^
wowie!
okay this is the same characture but drawn once for the last three years look how much he has changed.
to the left: Oli drawn a few weeks ago
middle: Oli last year
right: Oli two years ago
scary
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Vampire scream...
mhhhh i was bored, so i drew this well took a picture and modified it.
now im in salcombe with my ganparents.
life has been sort of strange lately. i have been thinking alittle too hard and too much about everything.
i really love my family even though they are all terribly terribly flawed.
my dad had an argument with my uncle and they were both drunk and it was so so funny because they were arguing over what they thought whent through the mind of a 14 year old girl when she puts on a minni skirt and a top that is more air than material.
it ended badly with my uncle refusing to listen to my father and father storming of claiming that my uncle was full of shit.
which to be fair he was.
but thats besides the real point...the real point being that i was the only person to come out of that argument at an advantage because i was the connection between all of the grownups.
the power was really cool, becuase my granny was apologising to me and saying i was very adult to have delt with my dad, my dad was happy with me because i was on his side, my uncle was happy with me because i helped him clear up after everyone else had left and my auntie came up to me to say sorry and that all men were assholes.
so everyone hated each other and loved me kukuku!
power trip!
6 days to go...
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Hair, Nana and gay films at church
yup you guessed it, just a few things i forgot to put in ´blec´
1. the shampoo my mother suplied me with in germany felt like pooring paint stripper onto my head, it made may hair so brittle and disgusting and static that i was really quiet horified! so today i borrowed some of katies shampoo, i got what i thought was a shampoo and a conditioner, after much searching and squinting at bottle names. only to find that infact they were both shampoos! but at least my hair seems to have recovered from the vicious treatment it recived from that dispicable hotel shit!
2. its amazing here even in such a small town such as gottingan maybe just the size of gloucester if anything smaller and there are two manga stores!!! how amazing is that and they have all the main names like naruto XDD and one point and modle and loads more (all unfortunatly in german though) but the gem on the cake or whatever...jewel encrusted icing. was that they had Nana editions one to eight!!! how cool is that!
and finaly
3. i whent to katies sort of youth groupie thing at church, and we watched a film... it was reall really good though all in german but i could understand it well enough.
so it started relativly normaly, it actualy had an amazing credit sequance at the begining with this really good english song. so it progressed you know two 20yr old guys in a rowing team really really good friends theres a scene where they are play figthing and as you do one of them ends up stradaling ontop of the other and then it sort of hit me...could this possibly be a film anout homosexuality!!! anyway so you have the useual tension of the guy ontop staying there too long and then (oh dear lord the germans are wandering around the house naked again XP) anyway yeah so suddenly it cut to the next scene and omg! its a shot of the guys lying side by side on their gym room floor you can only see from just above their knees to theire feet and what should be around their feet but their boxers and then it switches so you can see from just above their crotches to their heads and then you realise that they are both masterbating quiet vigerously side by side!!!!!! and this is in the first ten minutes!!! so anyway the story goes on the gay one of the pair has a crush on the straight one that old chestnut but i mean GOD! these germans dont shy away from the sex scenes! okay full on sex scene between two gay guys no anal sex just lots of fevered kissing and handjobs blow jobs rubbing and generaly getting all over each other and another one between the straight one and his girl friend outside in a storm. and i was sat there trying my very hardest not to burst out laughing and just grining inainly thinking what jess would be doing beside me. thinking guiltily ´is any one else here really turned on by this´
anyway that is all...
man that gay sex scene was HOT! and really really sweet as well XDD i will tell you all about it another time maybe.
Tüse xxx
1. the shampoo my mother suplied me with in germany felt like pooring paint stripper onto my head, it made may hair so brittle and disgusting and static that i was really quiet horified! so today i borrowed some of katies shampoo, i got what i thought was a shampoo and a conditioner, after much searching and squinting at bottle names. only to find that infact they were both shampoos! but at least my hair seems to have recovered from the vicious treatment it recived from that dispicable hotel shit!
2. its amazing here even in such a small town such as gottingan maybe just the size of gloucester if anything smaller and there are two manga stores!!! how amazing is that and they have all the main names like naruto XDD and one point and modle and loads more (all unfortunatly in german though) but the gem on the cake or whatever...jewel encrusted icing. was that they had Nana editions one to eight!!! how cool is that!
and finaly
3. i whent to katies sort of youth groupie thing at church, and we watched a film... it was reall really good though all in german but i could understand it well enough.
so it started relativly normaly, it actualy had an amazing credit sequance at the begining with this really good english song. so it progressed you know two 20yr old guys in a rowing team really really good friends theres a scene where they are play figthing and as you do one of them ends up stradaling ontop of the other and then it sort of hit me...could this possibly be a film anout homosexuality!!! anyway so you have the useual tension of the guy ontop staying there too long and then (oh dear lord the germans are wandering around the house naked again XP) anyway yeah so suddenly it cut to the next scene and omg! its a shot of the guys lying side by side on their gym room floor you can only see from just above their knees to theire feet and what should be around their feet but their boxers and then it switches so you can see from just above their crotches to their heads and then you realise that they are both masterbating quiet vigerously side by side!!!!!! and this is in the first ten minutes!!! so anyway the story goes on the gay one of the pair has a crush on the straight one that old chestnut but i mean GOD! these germans dont shy away from the sex scenes! okay full on sex scene between two gay guys no anal sex just lots of fevered kissing and handjobs blow jobs rubbing and generaly getting all over each other and another one between the straight one and his girl friend outside in a storm. and i was sat there trying my very hardest not to burst out laughing and just grining inainly thinking what jess would be doing beside me. thinking guiltily ´is any one else here really turned on by this´
anyway that is all...
man that gay sex scene was HOT! and really really sweet as well XDD i will tell you all about it another time maybe.
Tüse xxx
blec
a title in the true fashion of marfit!
well i have just one thing to rant about now.
the level of artistic skill present on drunk duck.
i have spent going on four hours on that website and i ahve yet to find some really really amazing art i mean yeah okay there have been some good ones but nothing outstanding and the ones that are
okay have only a couple of pages!!! why is this i want to know!!!
also i have been aproached by a scary man on bingbox who looks like he would murder his mother or has already, so in replie to his request to have a chat i said: okay random scary man how are you in the hope that he would not be answering.
also its very wierd but as i am in germany all the tabbs on this website are in german :S not good and the computer seems to be spazing...
eh eh eh.
i miss you all and cant wait to get back home thoguh i have had a great time here in sausage a-go-go land.
toodles.
well i have just one thing to rant about now.
the level of artistic skill present on drunk duck.
i have spent going on four hours on that website and i ahve yet to find some really really amazing art i mean yeah okay there have been some good ones but nothing outstanding and the ones that are
okay have only a couple of pages!!! why is this i want to know!!!
also i have been aproached by a scary man on bingbox who looks like he would murder his mother or has already, so in replie to his request to have a chat i said: okay random scary man how are you in the hope that he would not be answering.
also its very wierd but as i am in germany all the tabbs on this website are in german :S not good and the computer seems to be spazing...
eh eh eh.
i miss you all and cant wait to get back home thoguh i have had a great time here in sausage a-go-go land.
toodles.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
you've had a bad day
shit day just shit beyond all belife shit shit.....shit!!!!!!!!
fucking wanking cock shit bollocks cunt cunt cuntcuntCUNTCUNTCUNT!!!!!!!!!
i got home and waited for my mum to go out and then i just sat in my garden in the rain and cryed.
then i rang my dad and cryed some more. and now i, i dont know what i am going to do. i dont think i will be crying that much though anymore.
my head hurts.
fucking wanking cock shit bollocks cunt cunt cuntcuntCUNTCUNTCUNT!!!!!!!!!
i got home and waited for my mum to go out and then i just sat in my garden in the rain and cryed.
then i rang my dad and cryed some more. and now i, i dont know what i am going to do. i dont think i will be crying that much though anymore.
my head hurts.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Uncle Walter.
omg i love my uncle so much he is so cool! its wierd i mean i have grown up and everysingle adult i have ever known suddenly has become mortal and imperfect (with the exeption of obviously kevin vicky and dave but they are hardly mortla) anyway yes so i mean i lost a little bit of respect for each and every grown up i used to worship especialy parents, but not for my uncle! he is just so so cool! i mean sure i had a sort of rough patch with him but i can honestly say he is an amazing person and i love him very much.
he took me out to lunch today in a bar called 'All Bar One' (think about it) and i had a great time.
dude almost back home now i am going to be happy getting back to school as i miss everyone quiet abit.
E.Mole
he took me out to lunch today in a bar called 'All Bar One' (think about it) and i had a great time.
dude almost back home now i am going to be happy getting back to school as i miss everyone quiet abit.
E.Mole
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Whoot!
Hey I'm really happy and excited although it's really late but I'm in Scotland and everything's just fantastic! :D:D:D:D:D:D Check out my blog - I put some of my cousin's photos up. I'll send you an email tomorrow maybe if'n I have time, hope your work experience is going well and you haven't met any more arseholes (kukuku).
x
BEN LOVES YOU! (Oh Frigg the original BFF version of "The Ascent of Stan" is just... spine-shivering. You have to hear it.
Striking the Keys
On his way, he met a priest who asked him where he was going.
When he told him that he was going to ask a favour from god, the priest said,
"Tell me, son, for I am his representative on earth. tell me your sins."
"I have lost my key."
"Repent, my son, it's almost a sin."
"But that wont bring back my key."
"But it will absolve you for your sins."
He continued on his way to see god
When he told him that he was going to ask a favour from god, the priest said,
"Tell me, son, for I am his representative on earth. tell me your sins."
"I have lost my key."
"Repent, my son, it's almost a sin."
"But that wont bring back my key."
"But it will absolve you for your sins."
He continued on his way to see god
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Ryan
omgomgomgomg!!!!!! omg.
i was walking to my mums work and who should i bump into but....ryan *fanfair* i almost died apart from the fact that i have been activly avoiding him twas wierd and scary, it had something to do with my heart almost dying when i spotted the ginger hair.
i was just walking on my own minding my own buisness when i should come apon three kings schoolers and one of them had ginger hair, i thought nothing of it untill i put two and two together and realised that it could be ryan!!! and then it was! he did his little goofy thing again with the little sort of unsure wave and then i waved back and then we smiled and came over.
he gave me a hug and it was really nice though i think i held on to long ku ku ku...
anyway we talked for abit and there was like a tiny awkward moment when nither of us knew what to say, but i think that was cool, so he said we should meet up some time in the
hols as he haddnt seen me for ages. so i said maybe maybe not.
then he we walked and i had to go and i said 'do i not get a goodbye hug?' and he was like '*sigh* yeah i suppose :P' so i was like 'chu i dont want one now' and just walked off cool as a...very cool mel with an amazing necklace on with black hair (XD he noticed he was like, nice hair!)
so i was like really really happy!
happy happy happy!
i dont know if i should talk to him again on msn, he's single again...
ah me we shall see
love a happy mole xxx
i was walking to my mums work and who should i bump into but....ryan *fanfair* i almost died apart from the fact that i have been activly avoiding him twas wierd and scary, it had something to do with my heart almost dying when i spotted the ginger hair.
i was just walking on my own minding my own buisness when i should come apon three kings schoolers and one of them had ginger hair, i thought nothing of it untill i put two and two together and realised that it could be ryan!!! and then it was! he did his little goofy thing again with the little sort of unsure wave and then i waved back and then we smiled and came over.
he gave me a hug and it was really nice though i think i held on to long ku ku ku...
anyway we talked for abit and there was like a tiny awkward moment when nither of us knew what to say, but i think that was cool, so he said we should meet up some time in the
hols as he haddnt seen me for ages. so i said maybe maybe not.
then he we walked and i had to go and i said 'do i not get a goodbye hug?' and he was like '*sigh* yeah i suppose :P' so i was like 'chu i dont want one now' and just walked off cool as a...very cool mel with an amazing necklace on with black hair (XD he noticed he was like, nice hair!)
so i was like really really happy!
happy happy happy!
i dont know if i should talk to him again on msn, he's single again...
ah me we shall see
love a happy mole xxx
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Mood: Apathetic
dear god i am so pissed so so so pissed and my finger hurts and exams are tomorrow and i, i dont know what i am going to do...
as always i am thinking 'ohshitohshit i should have revised more' you know what i think i just dont care.
i want a boyfriend, mehfig (moment of weakness is allowed)
as always i am thinking 'ohshitohshit i should have revised more' you know what i think i just dont care.
i want a boyfriend, mehfig (moment of weakness is allowed)
Saturday, June 03, 2006
mehfig.
sort of bored im revising well sort of,
i have finnished my german oral questions so thats cool.
not much going on tomorrow.
happy birthday michelle! being fifteen is cool! i mean one more year till its legal (not that that stops you eh ku ku ku)
okay thats all i can manage for now.
i got the Blink 182 album a few days ago, 'cheshire cat' its their first album and its...bad it is very very bad but i still quiet like it.
it is all sung flat and the music isnt the best, and the topics are cliched but there are some really nice songs on it.
i also got some wheatus woohoo love love love them!
and eminem, love him too.
i have been obsessing over the dresden dolls the last week, i mean when ever i listen to music it has been them! and my mum likes them too! i played her 'coin operated boy' and she really liked it so i played her the whole album and she aproved :D
okay *sigh* dont know what else to say really....
mehfig
sort of bored im revising well sort of,
i have finnished my german oral questions so thats cool.
not much going on tomorrow.
happy birthday michelle! being fifteen is cool! i mean one more year till its legal (not that that stops you eh ku ku ku)
okay thats all i can manage for now.
i got the Blink 182 album a few days ago, 'cheshire cat' its their first album and its...bad it is very very bad but i still quiet like it.
it is all sung flat and the music isnt the best, and the topics are cliched but there are some really nice songs on it.
i also got some wheatus woohoo love love love them!
and eminem, love him too.
i have been obsessing over the dresden dolls the last week, i mean when ever i listen to music it has been them! and my mum likes them too! i played her 'coin operated boy' and she really liked it so i played her the whole album and she aproved :D
okay *sigh* dont know what else to say really....
mehfig
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
...
i feel so empty, well not empty just void of emotion...
im not happy put it that way, i think the only thing thats getting me through this is the thought of art.
my art pice, i have been working on it non stop for a few days (well as non stop as i could) and i think thats been the only time when i have been content i dont know what im going to do once i have finnished it but i will overcome that hurdle when i have to, apart from when im playing playstation, i love the way i can just do nothing for hours on end with that thing and not have to think about anything else exept getting this little person through pointless level after pointless level.
im due my period, i hate this time, everyone i know comes on in the same period of time and it is...chaos. well i over exagurate but its not the happiest week of my month put it that way.
im going to sleep on my sofa tonight, i cant stand the idea of my bed.
i havent done my ICT or english or physics.
ah fuck that i'll be okay.
i need some music to listen to! i am listening to eminem right now, but its just not doing it for me, i dont feel like wheatus...i'll find something, even if its i dont know. hey lenoard choen sounds good?
mhhhhh i just dont want to wake up tomorrow.
and i am not looking forward to the holidays :( or even after the holidays oh god i dont know.
i need money!
im not happy put it that way, i think the only thing thats getting me through this is the thought of art.
my art pice, i have been working on it non stop for a few days (well as non stop as i could) and i think thats been the only time when i have been content i dont know what im going to do once i have finnished it but i will overcome that hurdle when i have to, apart from when im playing playstation, i love the way i can just do nothing for hours on end with that thing and not have to think about anything else exept getting this little person through pointless level after pointless level.
im due my period, i hate this time, everyone i know comes on in the same period of time and it is...chaos. well i over exagurate but its not the happiest week of my month put it that way.
im going to sleep on my sofa tonight, i cant stand the idea of my bed.
i havent done my ICT or english or physics.
ah fuck that i'll be okay.
i need some music to listen to! i am listening to eminem right now, but its just not doing it for me, i dont feel like wheatus...i'll find something, even if its i dont know. hey lenoard choen sounds good?
mhhhhh i just dont want to wake up tomorrow.
and i am not looking forward to the holidays :( or even after the holidays oh god i dont know.
i need money!
Monday, May 22, 2006
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Happy Days
ahhh this weekend has been great!
livvies birthday on saturday which was amazing! we, well I had so much fun dont know about the rest :D
romeo and juliet was fantastic and the fight scenes literaly had me on the edge of my seat! when they first started fightting it was like WOAH! FUCK FUCK FUCK! the tension was huge and well it was just very very good! so stick that miss picthall!
anyway thankyou livvie it really was a great day!
and ha ha on the way there and back we listened to this tape on road saftey, well it was sort of a story built especialy to get across the idea of road saftey with songs and everything! we had a eminem rap, a bowie piss take a bjork and a girls alowd or who ever they are pis take a very funny tape but i want to know! WHAT HAPPENS TO THE EVIL LIBRARIAN! that was so sad you never got to find that out! :(
anyway....i have spent all sunday doing homework! i have done:
chemistry: finnished off my coursework
english: started my essay
maths: did my test paper
german: a page on family relations
history: an exam question
biology: some questions on nitrates
*phew* but im happy ive got it all out of the way, its taken me all day!
listening to Blink 182, hopefully i will be getting two of their albums over amazon soon as well as some wheatus, eminem, naruto (yes livvie no.2 aswell) ultimate spiderman 3 and W.I.T.C.H so im pretty happy.
my furniture came today a day late (well acutualy three days) but hey anyway it came and it smells really nice of pine and varnish i cant wait to get all my clothes into them (a wardrobe and a chest of draws). but when the men were moving them up into my room the chest of draws was upside down to when they went to turn it up the right way all the draws fell out and it snapped one of the runners! i mean honestly its a chest of draws! you dont tip it on its front! silly people!
in other news i started this small sketch of what was going to be dai on my lil note pad in biro and well it just grew! its such a sweet picture i love that pairing so so so much! i think im going to re-write thier kiss scene tonight, im really proud of how the sketch turned out because as it was in pen i couldnt rub anything out!
uhg, now im sat at my desk after doing all of that homework with my horendus cold! my nose is streaming and my head hurts in a sort of groggy ahcey way.
watched King Kong last night it was good though it did go on for quiet a bit. i really liked the main dude, hot in a sort of gangly pathetic way. jack black just played himself again. as a characture he was good, even better maybe. but he looses all my respect because he is like that in real life, he is not acting he is just being himself.
uhm im sure there was more stuff i wanted to say but ill leave it there for now.
livvies birthday on saturday which was amazing! we, well I had so much fun dont know about the rest :D
romeo and juliet was fantastic and the fight scenes literaly had me on the edge of my seat! when they first started fightting it was like WOAH! FUCK FUCK FUCK! the tension was huge and well it was just very very good! so stick that miss picthall!
anyway thankyou livvie it really was a great day!
and ha ha on the way there and back we listened to this tape on road saftey, well it was sort of a story built especialy to get across the idea of road saftey with songs and everything! we had a eminem rap, a bowie piss take a bjork and a girls alowd or who ever they are pis take a very funny tape but i want to know! WHAT HAPPENS TO THE EVIL LIBRARIAN! that was so sad you never got to find that out! :(
anyway....i have spent all sunday doing homework! i have done:
chemistry: finnished off my coursework
english: started my essay
maths: did my test paper
german: a page on family relations
history: an exam question
biology: some questions on nitrates
*phew* but im happy ive got it all out of the way, its taken me all day!
listening to Blink 182, hopefully i will be getting two of their albums over amazon soon as well as some wheatus, eminem, naruto (yes livvie no.2 aswell) ultimate spiderman 3 and W.I.T.C.H so im pretty happy.
my furniture came today a day late (well acutualy three days) but hey anyway it came and it smells really nice of pine and varnish i cant wait to get all my clothes into them (a wardrobe and a chest of draws). but when the men were moving them up into my room the chest of draws was upside down to when they went to turn it up the right way all the draws fell out and it snapped one of the runners! i mean honestly its a chest of draws! you dont tip it on its front! silly people!
in other news i started this small sketch of what was going to be dai on my lil note pad in biro and well it just grew! its such a sweet picture i love that pairing so so so much! i think im going to re-write thier kiss scene tonight, im really proud of how the sketch turned out because as it was in pen i couldnt rub anything out!
uhg, now im sat at my desk after doing all of that homework with my horendus cold! my nose is streaming and my head hurts in a sort of groggy ahcey way.
watched King Kong last night it was good though it did go on for quiet a bit. i really liked the main dude, hot in a sort of gangly pathetic way. jack black just played himself again. as a characture he was good, even better maybe. but he looses all my respect because he is like that in real life, he is not acting he is just being himself.
uhm im sure there was more stuff i wanted to say but ill leave it there for now.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Some Place Like Home (webcomic)
Hell Yeah! woohoo, woohoo, woohoo partypartyparty!
guess who is now officialy part of the webcomic race!
ME thats who me me me me!
its finaly up, i cant belive it, it took me so long to get round to it! at first i hadnt scanned it and then when i did it was too big and i didnt have the right viewing softwear on my computer to re-size it, unless i put it onto paint which i did, i spent ages cutting and pasting and re-sizing it and i saved it but when it came to uploading it, lo-and behold the website doesnt take btm images! SO after getting very angry i managed to perswade my father to let me borrow his computer and away i went!so to cut a long story short i now have the first two cover pages up and i am doing the first page today/tomorrow hopefully....if you want to check it out ask me for the link! i will be more than happy to show off :D
in other news, my ear hurts, and i have just finnished watching the most amazing CSI ever!
and i mean ever ever ever!
omg it was so so good! and so so scary, i mean useualy these things dont scare me but uhg that was truly horrible! this guy had sown two guys together and one of them was still alive...and and and he the sowing guy had made this girl watch him do it so she chewed her own hand off to escape the shackels.
it was...disturbing
(this was actualy supposed to go onto myspace but the internet is fucking up)
guess who is now officialy part of the webcomic race!
ME thats who me me me me!
its finaly up, i cant belive it, it took me so long to get round to it! at first i hadnt scanned it and then when i did it was too big and i didnt have the right viewing softwear on my computer to re-size it, unless i put it onto paint which i did, i spent ages cutting and pasting and re-sizing it and i saved it but when it came to uploading it, lo-and behold the website doesnt take btm images! SO after getting very angry i managed to perswade my father to let me borrow his computer and away i went!so to cut a long story short i now have the first two cover pages up and i am doing the first page today/tomorrow hopefully....if you want to check it out ask me for the link! i will be more than happy to show off :D
in other news, my ear hurts, and i have just finnished watching the most amazing CSI ever!
and i mean ever ever ever!
omg it was so so good! and so so scary, i mean useualy these things dont scare me but uhg that was truly horrible! this guy had sown two guys together and one of them was still alive...and and and he the sowing guy had made this girl watch him do it so she chewed her own hand off to escape the shackels.
it was...disturbing
(this was actualy supposed to go onto myspace but the internet is fucking up)
Friday, May 05, 2006
Some Place Like Home
i ahve decided to change the name of the main characture in my manga.
no longer shall she be Suki, but Hitomi.
because Hitomi means 'doubley beautiful' and as mike names her i thought it was suitable.
mhhhhh i am really happy, its been a fucked week but it turned out right and i suppose thats all that matter :D
ryan told me that he was my gaurdian angel it was soo sweet, i luff him so much! XDD as a friend mind! XP because he wants to stay single...bollocks! he just doesnt want to be with me i swear he will have a new girlfriend soon and i bet you it will not be my name he frames in hearts.
anyway, i watched 'Elizabeth Town' its very sweet and a nice 'odnt have to watch it to get it' film.
orlando bloom is still damm hot! but i still like jonny dept better!
*sigh* listening to panic at the disco, i think i take it back, they dont sound annoyingly like fall out boy and i actualy listened to them in preferance to F.O.B this after noon, i think they are F.O.B's darker side...
anyhoo of to bed for Melissa...
i leave you with this finnishing note:
ryanrynaryanryan
XDD
no longer shall she be Suki, but Hitomi.
because Hitomi means 'doubley beautiful' and as mike names her i thought it was suitable.
mhhhhh i am really happy, its been a fucked week but it turned out right and i suppose thats all that matter :D
ryan told me that he was my gaurdian angel it was soo sweet, i luff him so much! XDD as a friend mind! XP because he wants to stay single...bollocks! he just doesnt want to be with me i swear he will have a new girlfriend soon and i bet you it will not be my name he frames in hearts.
anyway, i watched 'Elizabeth Town' its very sweet and a nice 'odnt have to watch it to get it' film.
orlando bloom is still damm hot! but i still like jonny dept better!
*sigh* listening to panic at the disco, i think i take it back, they dont sound annoyingly like fall out boy and i actualy listened to them in preferance to F.O.B this after noon, i think they are F.O.B's darker side...
anyhoo of to bed for Melissa...
i leave you with this finnishing note:
ryanrynaryanryan
XDD
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Anti-Social
fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off...
fuckofffuckofffuckofffuckfuckofffuckofffuckofffuckfuckofffuckofffuckoff
fuckofffuckofffuckofffuckfuckofffuckofffuckofffuckfuckofffuckofffuckoff
fuckofffuckofffuckofffuckfuckofffuckofffuckofffuckfuckofffuckofffuckoff
fuckofffuckofffuckofffuckfuckofffuckofffuckofffuckfuckofffuckofffuckoff
fuckofffuckofffuckofffuckfuckofffuckofffuckofffuckfuckofffuckofffuckoff
fuckofffuckofffuckofffuckfuckofffuckofffuckofffuckfuckofffuckofffuckoff
fuckofffuckofffuckofffuckfuckofffuckofffuckofffuckfuckofffuckofffuckoff
fuckofffuckofffuckofffuckfuckofffuckofffuckofffuckfuckofffuckofffuckoff
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
KitKat and Tea
mhhh, yum yum kitkat and tea, well no i am actualy feeling sick now
i can feel my headache coming back and i am not in the best of moods...
im listening to system of a down, i really like them actualy especialy 'roulette' which is actualy wierd as it is the 'mel-i-want-to-break-up' song which todd sent me, meh i still like it its a nice song.
okkkay twas a wierd day and i am in a selfish mood, livvie was fucked off about something but she got (or acted) better in physics so i didnt want to persue it. you sort of reminded me of a seesaw or uhm what was it, thin ice... if you read this i hope you enjoy the sandman tonight.
waiting for ryan to come online as no one else is.
im angry at him and myself and everyone else and at the stupid situation i am in right now, i have decided that it is alot easier to just not like him anymore.
simple.
i just keep telling myself he is worth it, but im sorry the shit that is going down now i dont belive myself.
i keep twisting our converstaions and making excuses for him so i dont have to think that maybe he is not who i think he is. and i only tell the half truth to people so i have several different personas of ryan to keep up with several different people.
but that doesnt fucking mean everyone can point it out to me I AM GETTING FUCKING SICK WITH EVERYONE TELLING ME WHAT TO DO! let me get this straight, and i will say this once:
I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS, LAST TIME I CHECKED IT WAS MY BUISNESS AND MINE ONLY! STAY THE FUCK OUT OF IT!
jeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssss!
i dont care that he has a girl friend, i dont care that hes not trust worthy, i know i am going to get hurt in the long run, but i do not care i am 15 years old i am hardly going to marry him for fucks sake!
i achnowledge that when the enevitable does happen and it ends i cannot complaine, or be sad having said all i have above and maybe i will regret it.
i am beyond caring...
he drives me insaine though and i know he is not a very nice person when it comes to dealing with relationships (we were talking about it and he said that i should get so worked up about a 15yr old crush, that pissed me off hugely! i mean make me feel special why dont you!)
but that does not give you the right to call him what you do! okay it was a joke at first but now its just stupid ignorant and rude.
GET THE FUCK OFF MY BACK AND DIE!
okay right *phew*
uhm, im in a strange mood okay, im not unhappy, but i find myself needing less and less contact with the world, physical or phycological.
to tell you the truth, the world is fucking me off right now.
i dont want hugs they are annoying and i am finding it easier and easier just to ignore everyone.
OMG! my dad just called my mobile out of nowere just to tell me that he loved me and that he was sorry we fought!
how amazing is that, damm him damm him damm him! i want to not like him but then he goes and does something like that i mean how sweet and i could tell that he was feeling awkward telling me this and he was struggling to find something to talk about trying to make it less obvious that all he wanted to do was tell me that he was sorry!
XDD
i am really happy about that now wowie hee hee
so to round up:
i hate the world
i am not liking ryan
no hugs unless i inichiate them
my dad is soo cool \^o^/
oh yes and spiderman is cool too
i can feel my headache coming back and i am not in the best of moods...
im listening to system of a down, i really like them actualy especialy 'roulette' which is actualy wierd as it is the 'mel-i-want-to-break-up' song which todd sent me, meh i still like it its a nice song.
okkkay twas a wierd day and i am in a selfish mood, livvie was fucked off about something but she got (or acted) better in physics so i didnt want to persue it. you sort of reminded me of a seesaw or uhm what was it, thin ice... if you read this i hope you enjoy the sandman tonight.
waiting for ryan to come online as no one else is.
im angry at him and myself and everyone else and at the stupid situation i am in right now, i have decided that it is alot easier to just not like him anymore.
simple.
i just keep telling myself he is worth it, but im sorry the shit that is going down now i dont belive myself.
i keep twisting our converstaions and making excuses for him so i dont have to think that maybe he is not who i think he is. and i only tell the half truth to people so i have several different personas of ryan to keep up with several different people.
but that doesnt fucking mean everyone can point it out to me I AM GETTING FUCKING SICK WITH EVERYONE TELLING ME WHAT TO DO! let me get this straight, and i will say this once:
I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS, LAST TIME I CHECKED IT WAS MY BUISNESS AND MINE ONLY! STAY THE FUCK OUT OF IT!
jeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssss!
i dont care that he has a girl friend, i dont care that hes not trust worthy, i know i am going to get hurt in the long run, but i do not care i am 15 years old i am hardly going to marry him for fucks sake!
i achnowledge that when the enevitable does happen and it ends i cannot complaine, or be sad having said all i have above and maybe i will regret it.
i am beyond caring...
he drives me insaine though and i know he is not a very nice person when it comes to dealing with relationships (we were talking about it and he said that i should get so worked up about a 15yr old crush, that pissed me off hugely! i mean make me feel special why dont you!)
but that does not give you the right to call him what you do! okay it was a joke at first but now its just stupid ignorant and rude.
GET THE FUCK OFF MY BACK AND DIE!
okay right *phew*
uhm, im in a strange mood okay, im not unhappy, but i find myself needing less and less contact with the world, physical or phycological.
to tell you the truth, the world is fucking me off right now.
i dont want hugs they are annoying and i am finding it easier and easier just to ignore everyone.
OMG! my dad just called my mobile out of nowere just to tell me that he loved me and that he was sorry we fought!
how amazing is that, damm him damm him damm him! i want to not like him but then he goes and does something like that i mean how sweet and i could tell that he was feeling awkward telling me this and he was struggling to find something to talk about trying to make it less obvious that all he wanted to do was tell me that he was sorry!
XDD
i am really happy about that now wowie hee hee
so to round up:
i hate the world
i am not liking ryan
no hugs unless i inichiate them
my dad is soo cool \^o^/
oh yes and spiderman is cool too
Monday, May 01, 2006
head ache
dont feel like talking...
didnt see ryan today, dont ever be jealous of me
its not fucking worth it
didnt see ryan today, dont ever be jealous of me
its not fucking worth it
Friday, April 28, 2006
Tampons
what a wonderful title! i shall come to that topic later, first i think i have some explaining to do...
i have been acting strangely lately, to tell you the truth i dont know why and i am again going to blame hormones... and well other stuff but that is for me and me only.
okay well i havent updated for ages so i have alot to say and well there is alot going on right now so that also adds to volume.
okay well first comes: D of E omg i cant belive thats tomorrow! oh god im sort of a little worried and im also in denial, i refuse to belive that it is tomorrow, the only thing thats happening tomorrow is monday! it cant be D of E not yet! gahh, the thing is i work my best when i am under stress and on my period and i have both now and this leads on to the delightfull title... i have my period over my d of e grrrrrr could my body have picked a worse time!? i decided i was going to try out tampons but uhg grosssss ew ew ew ew ewewewewewewew! yuck yuck i bottled it no way am i shoving anything up there any time soon! uhg twas horrible and scary and yuck!
anyway, as i was saying because im so stressed and on my period miraculously i have managed to get myself sorted out! and to those who know me and how very disorganised i am they will aprichiate the magnatude of this event! i have actualy on my own sorted myself out and i am proud :D
so thats out of the way...
next: family, i actualy found out i was happy to see my dad home! huge huge huge! he walked in and i thought yey hes home! wtf is up with that, perhapes my dad and i are only people that get on if we dont live together, maybe when i move out we will be the best of friends? another wierd thing in family my little sister: i really dont like her most of the time but today she came into my bedroom and put on that voice where you just know that she is about to ask you for something and she goes 'mel i know youll probaly say no but can i borrow some of your music' and i just though FANTASTIC! and i laughed and gave her MCR and told her to play it as loud as she could.
i came in later to see her dancing around with her little home made cerial box guitar to 'this mirror aint big enough...' on full volume and my brother was having a go at her for playing it too loud ku ku ku and she just yelled at him 'mel let me borrow them so there and anyway im her minion!' and then slammed her door on him uhg she is 7 going on 15 i swear! and i mean where the hell did she learn the word minion!?
ohh ohh and you will never guess who i bumped into on my way out of clarinet....RYAN! woohoo lalalala i was so happy! i was packing up and staring out of the window looking for him actualy and well the other side of the window is mirrored so he walked by and in a jess like fashion just checked in the window/mirror and then saw me inside and sort of recognised me and walked off, but then he shot back obviously realisisng who he half recognised in the window he looked really suprised and he grinned at me and i waved and then rushed out to meet him.
twas sweet we chatted for abit and then i had to go, mmmmmmmmhhhhhhh i was happy for ages after uhg i like him sooooo much so very much la la la lalalala!
so we're meeting monday woohoo XDDDD
uhm im not sure about what the hell is going on with the post below this one, i think it may be livvie's garnny if it is you have a very cool granny liv!
okay well i shall end with an apologie for my behaviour in the last week or so and i hope it gets better....
love you all more than you know
xxx
i have been acting strangely lately, to tell you the truth i dont know why and i am again going to blame hormones... and well other stuff but that is for me and me only.
okay well i havent updated for ages so i have alot to say and well there is alot going on right now so that also adds to volume.
okay well first comes: D of E omg i cant belive thats tomorrow! oh god im sort of a little worried and im also in denial, i refuse to belive that it is tomorrow, the only thing thats happening tomorrow is monday! it cant be D of E not yet! gahh, the thing is i work my best when i am under stress and on my period and i have both now and this leads on to the delightfull title... i have my period over my d of e grrrrrr could my body have picked a worse time!? i decided i was going to try out tampons but uhg grosssss ew ew ew ew ewewewewewewew! yuck yuck i bottled it no way am i shoving anything up there any time soon! uhg twas horrible and scary and yuck!
anyway, as i was saying because im so stressed and on my period miraculously i have managed to get myself sorted out! and to those who know me and how very disorganised i am they will aprichiate the magnatude of this event! i have actualy on my own sorted myself out and i am proud :D
so thats out of the way...
next: family, i actualy found out i was happy to see my dad home! huge huge huge! he walked in and i thought yey hes home! wtf is up with that, perhapes my dad and i are only people that get on if we dont live together, maybe when i move out we will be the best of friends? another wierd thing in family my little sister: i really dont like her most of the time but today she came into my bedroom and put on that voice where you just know that she is about to ask you for something and she goes 'mel i know youll probaly say no but can i borrow some of your music' and i just though FANTASTIC! and i laughed and gave her MCR and told her to play it as loud as she could.
i came in later to see her dancing around with her little home made cerial box guitar to 'this mirror aint big enough...' on full volume and my brother was having a go at her for playing it too loud ku ku ku and she just yelled at him 'mel let me borrow them so there and anyway im her minion!' and then slammed her door on him uhg she is 7 going on 15 i swear! and i mean where the hell did she learn the word minion!?
ohh ohh and you will never guess who i bumped into on my way out of clarinet....RYAN! woohoo lalalala i was so happy! i was packing up and staring out of the window looking for him actualy and well the other side of the window is mirrored so he walked by and in a jess like fashion just checked in the window/mirror and then saw me inside and sort of recognised me and walked off, but then he shot back obviously realisisng who he half recognised in the window he looked really suprised and he grinned at me and i waved and then rushed out to meet him.
twas sweet we chatted for abit and then i had to go, mmmmmmmmhhhhhhh i was happy for ages after uhg i like him sooooo much so very much la la la lalalala!
so we're meeting monday woohoo XDDDD
uhm im not sure about what the hell is going on with the post below this one, i think it may be livvie's garnny if it is you have a very cool granny liv!
okay well i shall end with an apologie for my behaviour in the last week or so and i hope it gets better....
love you all more than you know
xxx
Am I in the right place I wonder???????
Hello I am not quite sure I am in the correct blog spot.
No I haven't lost my marbles.
There is a photo of Livvy and no Fergie tartan and an unfamiliar set up.
Will someone confirm whether or not I am in the correct place!!
I am selecting our blog spot from my favourites but I think I am getting Livvy's blog.
Is that confusing you - well it is confusing me!!
Love to 'who-ever' Gran X
No I haven't lost my marbles.
There is a photo of Livvy and no Fergie tartan and an unfamiliar set up.
Will someone confirm whether or not I am in the correct place!!
I am selecting our blog spot from my favourites but I think I am getting Livvy's blog.
Is that confusing you - well it is confusing me!!
Love to 'who-ever' Gran X
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Todd
i talked to todd last night for the first time in ages...and i was amazed to see how much he still terrified me! you see i was so so scared of him when we were going out but i thought that was just because it was like you know 'first boyfriend' thing because i never got that with ryan (well only a little anyway) but i started talking to him again and well, i was terrified and i sort of liked it, i by no means still like him, oh dear god no! but it was still kinda fun...
is being scared that much of a turn on? :$ help!
anyway other news: still pineing after ryan but im not as sad as i was so thats cool, and there is a possibility that he will be at the skills festival tomorrow...that would be amazing!
sort of feeling better been belting out Moulin Rouge thats made me feel better and the fact that CSI is on tonight and i have no homework woohoo, im actualy in a reasonably good mood today! well for the mood i was in today...i actualy burst into tears twice today which is rare and an indication to how bad all of this has fucked with me!
GOD! the sandman books are so confusing no i mean i get the books but i am trying to buy some more and fuck! there are so many spinoffs and subplots and other books i just dont know where to turn! flump! uhg! anyways i cant belive it im not going to get the sixth sandman because mother dear has forgotten to order it! i have given up i am going to read number eight now!...
is being scared that much of a turn on? :$ help!
anyway other news: still pineing after ryan but im not as sad as i was so thats cool, and there is a possibility that he will be at the skills festival tomorrow...that would be amazing!
sort of feeling better been belting out Moulin Rouge thats made me feel better and the fact that CSI is on tonight and i have no homework woohoo, im actualy in a reasonably good mood today! well for the mood i was in today...i actualy burst into tears twice today which is rare and an indication to how bad all of this has fucked with me!
GOD! the sandman books are so confusing no i mean i get the books but i am trying to buy some more and fuck! there are so many spinoffs and subplots and other books i just dont know where to turn! flump! uhg! anyways i cant belive it im not going to get the sixth sandman because mother dear has forgotten to order it! i have given up i am going to read number eight now!...
Monday, April 24, 2006
Mmhhpp
tired, drew ryan today, tured out shit i coloured it wrong i may end up cutting it up and doing something else with it...the top half worked but the bottom didnt.
hes not online ither grrr i miss him and that really annoys me because i feel that now its becoming very one sided, hes just this thing to keep me from slipping into anger, depression or whatever who pops up every now and again to remend me he exists.
got D of E on saturday and i am not prepeared at all! i cant belive it my dad is away which means that i wont be able to get it untill friday night and i have forgotten how to put it up ohshitohshitohshit! he is going to be so angry with me...oh i dont want this i just want to cry! i dont have the energy to deal with this
i just want it all to stop! i feel really bogged down and tired.
i have just listened to lostprophets and linkin park for a straight five hours thats like 6 times for each album....
my eyes hurt, i just want to.....go to sleep for ages and wake up again in my perfect world...
hmm perfect world, mixed school, no exams, learing Japanese instead of German...ryan....livvie living in her own house with ned...me living in Camden with my jessie and ryan and jessie's uber hot emo boyfriend...michelle living in her mansion with tolkien...
mmhhpp...
i hate this so much....sleep...for ever....maybe...
i am not going to get up tomorrow, i am just going to lie there and think 'what the fuck is the point' and i wont be able to answer myself...so i wont get up...no actualy i lie, i am going to get up for japanese, so i will begin my sleep wednesday...
i need someone to save me,
'one step closer to the edge...and im about to break'
hes not online ither grrr i miss him and that really annoys me because i feel that now its becoming very one sided, hes just this thing to keep me from slipping into anger, depression or whatever who pops up every now and again to remend me he exists.
got D of E on saturday and i am not prepeared at all! i cant belive it my dad is away which means that i wont be able to get it untill friday night and i have forgotten how to put it up ohshitohshitohshit! he is going to be so angry with me...oh i dont want this i just want to cry! i dont have the energy to deal with this
i just want it all to stop! i feel really bogged down and tired.
i have just listened to lostprophets and linkin park for a straight five hours thats like 6 times for each album....
my eyes hurt, i just want to.....go to sleep for ages and wake up again in my perfect world...
hmm perfect world, mixed school, no exams, learing Japanese instead of German...ryan....livvie living in her own house with ned...me living in Camden with my jessie and ryan and jessie's uber hot emo boyfriend...michelle living in her mansion with tolkien...
mmhhpp...
i hate this so much....sleep...for ever....maybe...
i am not going to get up tomorrow, i am just going to lie there and think 'what the fuck is the point' and i wont be able to answer myself...so i wont get up...no actualy i lie, i am going to get up for japanese, so i will begin my sleep wednesday...
i need someone to save me,
'one step closer to the edge...and im about to break'
Sunday, April 23, 2006
V....V....Ville Valo *dies*
hmmm i sort of feel sick but i think i may have eaten too much bread at lunch ah well.
on the up side, i watched the HIM dvd of Ville Valo live...
it doesnt sound as good on the dvd, the music is alot sharper on disc but...
o.....m..........f................g Ville Valo is beyond anything i had ever imagined so so so so amazingly hot! and the way he sings with the ciggarett and his hat wowie *orgasm* im sorry but he turns me on \^o^/
hugely.... mhhhhh im listening to his CD now....
in other news, farther is in a hugely bad mood and on the war path, i have just had to clean up the blood/gut stains left by my cat (i love him to bits but it does get annoying when he brings in rabbits eats the heads and then spreads the internal tracts all over the study carpet) off the carpet with a hand brush and 50yr old carpet cleaner...not fun
and i over heard him talking about exercise...no...if he askes me to go on a run i am going to refuse and lock myself in my room.
i am in that sort of a mood i will not cooperate, comprimise or have anything to do with running today...
its strange being tired angry and horney at the same time? :$
on the up side, i watched the HIM dvd of Ville Valo live...
it doesnt sound as good on the dvd, the music is alot sharper on disc but...
o.....m..........f................g Ville Valo is beyond anything i had ever imagined so so so so amazingly hot! and the way he sings with the ciggarett and his hat wowie *orgasm* im sorry but he turns me on \^o^/
hugely.... mhhhhh im listening to his CD now....
in other news, farther is in a hugely bad mood and on the war path, i have just had to clean up the blood/gut stains left by my cat (i love him to bits but it does get annoying when he brings in rabbits eats the heads and then spreads the internal tracts all over the study carpet) off the carpet with a hand brush and 50yr old carpet cleaner...not fun
and i over heard him talking about exercise...no...if he askes me to go on a run i am going to refuse and lock myself in my room.
i am in that sort of a mood i will not cooperate, comprimise or have anything to do with running today...
its strange being tired angry and horney at the same time? :$
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
'House'
okay seriously seriously pissed off now!
seriously, okay life is not going great for me right now. i dont know what it is but i feel im aproaching one of my huge huge angry moods that lasts for days or entering my depression cycle again. i dont want to do that, im not sure when it was but i broke out of it and now i can see it looming.
mhhhhh i thought it was thursday today which ment that House would be on, but its not its a wednesday so no House. that made me so so angry i just wanted to cry but like always i couldnt!
i hate not being able to cry, i used to be able to do it whenever but now i cant cry ever and its so so frustrating, i feel i need to do something that will justifie what im feeling inside.
i hate alot, well no i am disliking alot of people right now...
mainly a guy, i cant belive it i just cant fucking belive him i hate him i hate him i hate him!
but i have not given up not yet, im not looking for love i just want a nice small relationship thats all, i dont want sex i dont want big fuck off 'i love you's i just want someone i can hang with and talk to and hug, you know but just not as a friend
>:(
and the ass isnt even online, i know somethings wrong because he said that he doesnt go online when hes upset but i just want to talk to him, i feel like i have imagined the whole thing and that he doesnt even exist.
and people keep coming up to me and asking me how its going on with him and i dont even know how they know about him!
i just want them to leave me alone.
i hate him
hatehatehate!
i cant belive how not being able to see House has made me so angry!
i love that show, and i love Hue Laurrie.
in other news, im fucking freezing!
more news, i texted ryan....i feel better for it but now it depends on if he texts back?
i dont know, as i have said before:
i could jump and i could fly
but i could fall and then id die
listening to moulin rouge disc two which alltogether as a cd is better than number one!
it has a nicer overall feel to it, the first one has like four amazing songs on it and the rest im sad to say are shit. no. two has like one amazing song but they are all pretty good
okay thats all for now, im actualy shaking now im so cold ah fuck!
i want chocolate!
seriously, okay life is not going great for me right now. i dont know what it is but i feel im aproaching one of my huge huge angry moods that lasts for days or entering my depression cycle again. i dont want to do that, im not sure when it was but i broke out of it and now i can see it looming.
mhhhhh i thought it was thursday today which ment that House would be on, but its not its a wednesday so no House. that made me so so angry i just wanted to cry but like always i couldnt!
i hate not being able to cry, i used to be able to do it whenever but now i cant cry ever and its so so frustrating, i feel i need to do something that will justifie what im feeling inside.
i hate alot, well no i am disliking alot of people right now...
mainly a guy, i cant belive it i just cant fucking belive him i hate him i hate him i hate him!
but i have not given up not yet, im not looking for love i just want a nice small relationship thats all, i dont want sex i dont want big fuck off 'i love you's i just want someone i can hang with and talk to and hug, you know but just not as a friend
>:(
and the ass isnt even online, i know somethings wrong because he said that he doesnt go online when hes upset but i just want to talk to him, i feel like i have imagined the whole thing and that he doesnt even exist.
and people keep coming up to me and asking me how its going on with him and i dont even know how they know about him!
i just want them to leave me alone.
i hate him
hatehatehate!
i cant belive how not being able to see House has made me so angry!
i love that show, and i love Hue Laurrie.
in other news, im fucking freezing!
more news, i texted ryan....i feel better for it but now it depends on if he texts back?
i dont know, as i have said before:
i could jump and i could fly
but i could fall and then id die
listening to moulin rouge disc two which alltogether as a cd is better than number one!
it has a nicer overall feel to it, the first one has like four amazing songs on it and the rest im sad to say are shit. no. two has like one amazing song but they are all pretty good
okay thats all for now, im actualy shaking now im so cold ah fuck!
i want chocolate!
Monday, April 17, 2006
Music
finaly i am at home and i am extatic about it, and best off all i got home to a newly delivered moulin rouge two disc sound track and corpse bride sound track Naruto 1 and 4, tarot cafe 2, and sandman 5 and i cant wait to read them.
took my new bike for a spin and mannaged to get up a huge really steep hill no problem which is something i have never been able to do before.
have been singing my heart out to 'tango de la roxan' i love that song it is just so beautiful haunting and dark!
also corpse bride is great!
im sort of looking forward to tomorrow but i havent done my homework *gah* ah well ill survive i always do.
sort of confused as to were i stand with my 'relationship' i sort of just want to give up on it all....
its so wierd i had this with todd as well, if i dont talk to them i start questioning if they really even exist? and this is all a dream! its so wierd he was in my dream again it was really nice talkin to him i died in the end and i woke up and thought oh thankgod i didnt die but atleast i talked to ryan....but i hadnt god i felt stupid and then really angry >:(
hmmmmmm....
i think thats all for now
toodles
took my new bike for a spin and mannaged to get up a huge really steep hill no problem which is something i have never been able to do before.
have been singing my heart out to 'tango de la roxan' i love that song it is just so beautiful haunting and dark!
also corpse bride is great!
im sort of looking forward to tomorrow but i havent done my homework *gah* ah well ill survive i always do.
sort of confused as to were i stand with my 'relationship' i sort of just want to give up on it all....
its so wierd i had this with todd as well, if i dont talk to them i start questioning if they really even exist? and this is all a dream! its so wierd he was in my dream again it was really nice talkin to him i died in the end and i woke up and thought oh thankgod i didnt die but atleast i talked to ryan....but i hadnt god i felt stupid and then really angry >:(
hmmmmmm....
i think thats all for now
toodles
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Things that Really Piss me Off...
yup you guessed it things that really piss me off are:
- religion
- official type casting of subcultures
- political correctiveness
- small minded people
- lying
(not general lies but when people lie and then expect you to know the truth or say 'you should have known' you see i only didnt know it or look further into it was because i trusted you and i trusted that what you were telling me was the bloody truth!)
- homework
- relationships and men in general
im going to keep adding to this as i discover more and more delightful things that piss me off
Saturday, April 15, 2006
I am Not Ashamed!
yesturday night.....sorry last night
actualy i prefure yesturday night...
anyway yesturday night i just sat down and decided i was sick of my drawing style, so i picked up my muse and just drew...
i had a vauge idea of what it was going to look like but i never imagined it would turn out what it turned out like.
it was a hugely liberating drawing and i am very proud, its not increadibly deatailed and i whimped out on a back ground but i am still very proud...
it is of a woman how is grossly skinny with leather skin hangign off her body, she is naked and standing there infront of you cellulite and all and i titled it:
'I Am Not Ashamed'
i feel like too many people are afraid of their bodies, ashamed
i want to draw naked people more often now, exept that would include me having to actualy see more than just my own body, which will be an interesting task :$
ah well i was happy for the rest of the day, night well it was about 2:00 when i finnished it...
in other news: huge reatail therapy woohoo i brought the most amazing shoes on this earth, a wicked punk/frilly/studded tie, a top announcing that i am a mentl patient from *goes finds top* from Pennsylvania State Prison and a really nice skirt with huge hearts diamonds clubs and spades in red and white on the hem! it is my summer outfit and it looks amazing with my corset over the top of the t-shirt, i cant wait to show you guys maybe i'll get a picture and upload it onto this post?
actualy i prefure yesturday night...
anyway yesturday night i just sat down and decided i was sick of my drawing style, so i picked up my muse and just drew...
i had a vauge idea of what it was going to look like but i never imagined it would turn out what it turned out like.
it was a hugely liberating drawing and i am very proud, its not increadibly deatailed and i whimped out on a back ground but i am still very proud...
it is of a woman how is grossly skinny with leather skin hangign off her body, she is naked and standing there infront of you cellulite and all and i titled it:
'I Am Not Ashamed'
i feel like too many people are afraid of their bodies, ashamed
i want to draw naked people more often now, exept that would include me having to actualy see more than just my own body, which will be an interesting task :$
ah well i was happy for the rest of the day, night well it was about 2:00 when i finnished it...
in other news: huge reatail therapy woohoo i brought the most amazing shoes on this earth, a wicked punk/frilly/studded tie, a top announcing that i am a mentl patient from *goes finds top* from Pennsylvania State Prison and a really nice skirt with huge hearts diamonds clubs and spades in red and white on the hem! it is my summer outfit and it looks amazing with my corset over the top of the t-shirt, i cant wait to show you guys maybe i'll get a picture and upload it onto this post?
Aido
hmmmm it all started with my stumbeling over a small little link that was at the very bottom of the page of my very first online comic EarthSong Saga...
Fallen, a comic by Yuko 'Aido' Ota...
it is amazing pure and simple, unadulterated talent fest woot XD
i encourage you to for gods sake go and read it
(www.fallencomic.com)
this also has the comic on it but it also has art \^o^/
(http://aido.furvect.com/fallen.htm)
but unfortunatly it has stopped so i morned for a year and finaly thought 'hey, i bet she has more stuff on the internet!'
and so began the search...
i found elfwood aido (http://elfwood.lysator.liu.se/art/a/i/aido/aido.html)
deviantart aido (http://eouen.deviantart.com/)
and a few other blogs and such:
(http://dhio.livejournal.com/profile)
(http://aido.furvect.com/)
and here is something i dont know what yet i'll check it out when i have time
(http://www.instantclassic.net/)
im sorry but i am in love with her art and have too much time to myself... i make no excuses
Fallen, a comic by Yuko 'Aido' Ota...
it is amazing pure and simple, unadulterated talent fest woot XD
i encourage you to for gods sake go and read it
(www.fallencomic.com)
this also has the comic on it but it also has art \^o^/
(http://aido.furvect.com/fallen.htm)
but unfortunatly it has stopped so i morned for a year and finaly thought 'hey, i bet she has more stuff on the internet!'
and so began the search...
i found elfwood aido (http://elfwood.lysator.liu.se/art/a/i/aido/aido.html)
deviantart aido (http://eouen.deviantart.com/)
and a few other blogs and such:
(http://dhio.livejournal.com/profile)
(http://aido.furvect.com/)
and here is something i dont know what yet i'll check it out when i have time
(http://www.instantclassic.net/)
im sorry but i am in love with her art and have too much time to myself... i make no excuses
Thursday, April 13, 2006
World of My Own
for a second there okay well to be precise maybe three...HOLY SHIT ITS ONE OCLOCK WHERE THE FUCK DID TWELVE OCLOCK GO!
okay maybe a little more, but just for that moment in time i felt like i was in a world of my own...i wasnt happy but i felt wierdly at peace sort of rested. i have by no means sorted anything out in my life if anything i have made things worse but i feel okay...almost
this is such a wierd feeling...
i dont know i want to stay here forever
there are only a few moods were i have wantewd to stay like it forever:
when i am having a really deep descussion with a friend
when i have laughed myself silly and so hard that my lungs hurt and my sides seeze up
when im in the arms of someone i really really love be it friend or partner
when i am sat at a table with the entirety of my family all chatting a joking i dont have to be saying anything just as long as everyone there is happy
when im walking and the sun is shining but its not too hot...when i just love every thing and everyone livving or dead on this earth, those moments are rare but ive had a few and they are great.
and finaly a moment like this...
everyone in the house is asleep, and i am utterly alone
im not happy but its its own bliss...
bliss on a stick as mother would say
okay maybe a little more, but just for that moment in time i felt like i was in a world of my own...i wasnt happy but i felt wierdly at peace sort of rested. i have by no means sorted anything out in my life if anything i have made things worse but i feel okay...almost
this is such a wierd feeling...
i dont know i want to stay here forever
there are only a few moods were i have wantewd to stay like it forever:
when i am having a really deep descussion with a friend
when i have laughed myself silly and so hard that my lungs hurt and my sides seeze up
when im in the arms of someone i really really love be it friend or partner
when i am sat at a table with the entirety of my family all chatting a joking i dont have to be saying anything just as long as everyone there is happy
when im walking and the sun is shining but its not too hot...when i just love every thing and everyone livving or dead on this earth, those moments are rare but ive had a few and they are great.
and finaly a moment like this...
everyone in the house is asleep, and i am utterly alone
im not happy but its its own bliss...
bliss on a stick as mother would say
Yeah it's uncanny to see, you'd really think it was me...
If you like "Cigarette" you should hear "Fred Jones Part 2." I don't have it on my mp3, but I do have it in my Lime Wire library and on the live DVD of Ben Folds & WASO Ned gave me. Here are the lyrics. A lot of people think of "Brick" as Mr. Folds's saddest song, but this one tops the bill for me. The live version is excellent too, it just about works with the orchestra.
Fred sits alone
at his desk in the dark
there's an awkward
young shadow that waits in the hall
he has cleared all his things
and he's put them in boxes
things that remind him
that life has been good
twenty five years
he's worked at the paper
a man's here
to take him downstairs
and "I'm sorry,
Mr. Jones, it's time"
there was no party
and there were no songs
cause today's just a day
like the day that he started
and no one is left here
that knows his first name
yeah and life barrels on
like a runaway train
where the passengers change
they don't change anything
you get off
someone else can get on
and "I'm sorry,
Mr. Jones, it's time"
the streetlight
it shines through the shades
casting lines on the floor
and lines on his face
he reflects on the day
Fred gets his paints out
and goes to the basement
projecting some slides
onto a plain white canvas
and traces it,
fills in the spaces
he turns off the slides
and it doesn't look right
yeah, and all of these bastards
have taken his place
he's forgotten, but not yet gone
and "I'm sorry, Mr. Jones"
and "I'm sorry, Mr. Jones"
and "I'm sorry, Mr. Jones, it's time"
It's a good tune, too. I was listening to Ben Folds last night because I couldn't get to sleep from hunger, and it was like that hunger sharpened my hearing or something, I don't know. I could just hear all the layers at once and it was really great. I love the background singing from the other two, they're fantastic.
Fred sits alone
at his desk in the dark
there's an awkward
young shadow that waits in the hall
he has cleared all his things
and he's put them in boxes
things that remind him
that life has been good
twenty five years
he's worked at the paper
a man's here
to take him downstairs
and "I'm sorry,
Mr. Jones, it's time"
there was no party
and there were no songs
cause today's just a day
like the day that he started
and no one is left here
that knows his first name
yeah and life barrels on
like a runaway train
where the passengers change
they don't change anything
you get off
someone else can get on
and "I'm sorry,
Mr. Jones, it's time"
the streetlight
it shines through the shades
casting lines on the floor
and lines on his face
he reflects on the day
Fred gets his paints out
and goes to the basement
projecting some slides
onto a plain white canvas
and traces it,
fills in the spaces
he turns off the slides
and it doesn't look right
yeah, and all of these bastards
have taken his place
he's forgotten, but not yet gone
and "I'm sorry, Mr. Jones"
and "I'm sorry, Mr. Jones"
and "I'm sorry, Mr. Jones, it's time"
It's a good tune, too. I was listening to Ben Folds last night because I couldn't get to sleep from hunger, and it was like that hunger sharpened my hearing or something, I don't know. I could just hear all the layers at once and it was really great. I love the background singing from the other two, they're fantastic.
Stirr Crazy
get me out of here! i am begging you please...
this is my own personal hell, i do not fear death anymore for surely i have been there and returned just to see the world slip on by without me.
i have just had my 9 yr old cousin ( mental age of a hyperactive three year old) walk in on me changing, well no not even changing i was naked.
nanny janet is on the war path and grandad tom is in a mood.
fucking joy! now we are off to the armoury.
I HAVE NO INTEREST IN GUNS! I HAVE NO INTREST IN WAR I DO NOT WANT TO GO!
leave me the fuck alone.
i have course work i know i am not going to do and i have had no physical contact with any person my age or even near to it for going on six days!
i am going to kill myslef i swear!
i am now hiding up in my 'bedroom' listening to the constant up roar and banging and screaming unfolding down below, hannah (7 yrs old) and lucy (8) have fallen out and now proceed to scream at each other and yell and cry.
i have no clean clothes! my pjamas stink and i have no means of washing them least i spend a night in the nudy which i am not prepeared to do as i have frequant invasions by george, william, hannah and lucy and the door doesnt even fucking shut! let alone have a lock! i have to shove a coat under it just to stop it swinging open!
the only up side, i brought 4 manga books yesturday.
the only down side they are all crap.
now i cant find my bra, its probaly been stolen.
is this not one of the circuls Dantie described!
i jaust want to go home get a hug from jess, a chat with michelle, a laugh from livvie (no alitteration intened) and a kiss from ryan.
nope not possible im stuck here for four more days....
i am now going to find a nice corner and O.D
or maybe i can find a nice sharp object?
up side:
all thistime on my own has given me, well time to listen to Ben Folds and actualy concentrate on the lyrics.
he is now my only anchor to the world i have fal;len i love with the following sonds:
Julianne ( met this girl, she looked like Axl RoseGot drunk and took her home and we slept in our clothes) how amazing is that i love those lyrics
Boxing oh its just such a sad song
Kate i aprichiate the irony of this song, i mean the song is about wanting to be a girl called Kate and well *cough* i wouldnt mind...
and Cigerette its just such a beautiful song
okay well thats me done im off to the armoury.....yey.....
this is my own personal hell, i do not fear death anymore for surely i have been there and returned just to see the world slip on by without me.
i have just had my 9 yr old cousin ( mental age of a hyperactive three year old) walk in on me changing, well no not even changing i was naked.
nanny janet is on the war path and grandad tom is in a mood.
fucking joy! now we are off to the armoury.
I HAVE NO INTEREST IN GUNS! I HAVE NO INTREST IN WAR I DO NOT WANT TO GO!
leave me the fuck alone.
i have course work i know i am not going to do and i have had no physical contact with any person my age or even near to it for going on six days!
i am going to kill myslef i swear!
i am now hiding up in my 'bedroom' listening to the constant up roar and banging and screaming unfolding down below, hannah (7 yrs old) and lucy (8) have fallen out and now proceed to scream at each other and yell and cry.
i have no clean clothes! my pjamas stink and i have no means of washing them least i spend a night in the nudy which i am not prepeared to do as i have frequant invasions by george, william, hannah and lucy and the door doesnt even fucking shut! let alone have a lock! i have to shove a coat under it just to stop it swinging open!
the only up side, i brought 4 manga books yesturday.
the only down side they are all crap.
now i cant find my bra, its probaly been stolen.
is this not one of the circuls Dantie described!
i jaust want to go home get a hug from jess, a chat with michelle, a laugh from livvie (no alitteration intened) and a kiss from ryan.
nope not possible im stuck here for four more days....
i am now going to find a nice corner and O.D
or maybe i can find a nice sharp object?
up side:
all thistime on my own has given me, well time to listen to Ben Folds and actualy concentrate on the lyrics.
he is now my only anchor to the world i have fal;len i love with the following sonds:
Julianne ( met this girl, she looked like Axl RoseGot drunk and took her home and we slept in our clothes) how amazing is that i love those lyrics
Boxing oh its just such a sad song
Kate i aprichiate the irony of this song, i mean the song is about wanting to be a girl called Kate and well *cough* i wouldnt mind...
and Cigerette its just such a beautiful song
okay well thats me done im off to the armoury.....yey.....
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Salutations From the Citadel Of Beavers
Hello there!
Don't worry about the poetry, it's natural that you should look back on your old stuff and be a little... put out. Everyone's experiencing all the time... just look on the bad experiences as future poetry material! He he, no one's that postitive, are they?! Hope not, or I might just have to shoot them in a fit of jealous rage...
Enjoy what's left of your freedom if you can. Before you know it we'll be sitting exasperated before Miss P, as she tells us that fate and chance are COMPLETELY different, and not connected at all.
:)
Don't worry about the poetry, it's natural that you should look back on your old stuff and be a little... put out. Everyone's experiencing all the time... just look on the bad experiences as future poetry material! He he, no one's that postitive, are they?! Hope not, or I might just have to shoot them in a fit of jealous rage...
Enjoy what's left of your freedom if you can. Before you know it we'll be sitting exasperated before Miss P, as she tells us that fate and chance are COMPLETELY different, and not connected at all.
:)
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Poetry
well that was a constructive 24 hours....not
uhg this is bollocks i am sat on this computer listening to the ocational scream or cry of a wounded 7 years old.
no one is on msn and i feel so desperatly lonely and ditatched, i feel like the world is leaving me behind and something big is happenenig that i dont know about and that all my frineds are in on it and im left out...its a conspiracy!
*inner vioce* that melissa is called paranioa.....paranoia online :( *sob*
well ive got it all together now so im starting work on my project woohoo
nothing much else to say got more biology to do and english *groan*
i have spent the last god knows how many hours re-reading all my poetry and just realised how cringingly bad it all is and i mean serious emo slitty cuting bad ugh how horrific :'(
well thats all for now really hot and the trosers im wearing re too tight they really hurt!
uhg this is bollocks i am sat on this computer listening to the ocational scream or cry of a wounded 7 years old.
no one is on msn and i feel so desperatly lonely and ditatched, i feel like the world is leaving me behind and something big is happenenig that i dont know about and that all my frineds are in on it and im left out...its a conspiracy!
*inner vioce* that melissa is called paranioa.....paranoia online :( *sob*
well ive got it all together now so im starting work on my project woohoo
nothing much else to say got more biology to do and english *groan*
i have spent the last god knows how many hours re-reading all my poetry and just realised how cringingly bad it all is and i mean serious emo slitty cuting bad ugh how horrific :'(
well thats all for now really hot and the trosers im wearing re too tight they really hurt!
Monday, April 10, 2006
Oh Holiday...
uhg i hate this, i am so bored, stuck in a house of seven to seventy yearolds and not one of the nine inhabitants is 14 15 16 or 17 it sucks so much.
i am so bored i mean i have no one to talk to, or do anything with. there are a few teenagers accross the road, but i dont want to talk to them aparently they are regular plastics and to be brutely honest i have no interest in being sociable at all. i want to be surounded with people i already know, i am not in the mood to start new relationships, especialy with people i am going to know for one day and then forget about.
i have an insane urge to watch herbie reloaded! i havent seen it yet and i want to... :S
hmm abit worried about michelle, i wish she wouldnt hide things...
michelle! tell me whats wrong :(
and well hey jess who i have just found out reads my blog!
also a hi to my beloved worm who is still not in home soil im glad your sort of having a good time, ill email you im also having your letter sent to sheffield he he he...
i have found something to keep me buisy over the hols i cnt say because its a secret...
its not a big secret and its not flashy or anything but it should be good
ho hum, got romeo and juliet corse work to get into oh shit and biology too, i think ill do that now
toodles
i am so bored i mean i have no one to talk to, or do anything with. there are a few teenagers accross the road, but i dont want to talk to them aparently they are regular plastics and to be brutely honest i have no interest in being sociable at all. i want to be surounded with people i already know, i am not in the mood to start new relationships, especialy with people i am going to know for one day and then forget about.
i have an insane urge to watch herbie reloaded! i havent seen it yet and i want to... :S
hmm abit worried about michelle, i wish she wouldnt hide things...
michelle! tell me whats wrong :(
and well hey jess who i have just found out reads my blog!
also a hi to my beloved worm who is still not in home soil im glad your sort of having a good time, ill email you im also having your letter sent to sheffield he he he...
i have found something to keep me buisy over the hols i cnt say because its a secret...
its not a big secret and its not flashy or anything but it should be good
ho hum, got romeo and juliet corse work to get into oh shit and biology too, i think ill do that now
toodles
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Marfit
okay i have forgotten how to connect people to your blog so im just going to record names down here so i can search for them when i want to read their stuff.
they, being michelle...
Marfit.
okay well today i emailed livvie...hey livvie! :D
i have nothing interesting to say right now, just that im off on my hols and i dont know how im going to survive.
my cousins are the most annoying life forms on the planet.... :(
they, being michelle...
Marfit.
okay well today i emailed livvie...hey livvie! :D
i have nothing interesting to say right now, just that im off on my hols and i dont know how im going to survive.
my cousins are the most annoying life forms on the planet.... :(
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Today Today...
well nothing happened today! fantastic it was the welcome break i needed so much has happened i just need some time to breath and look back on whats going on.
its been a very wierd week... apart from me turning 15 i have had to deal with some head shit...
i had a great birthday:D
ryan made bloody sure of that!XD
but he still has a girl friend, now personlay i see no problem with cheating... i know its shit and if he can cheat on her he will cheat on me, but honestly we are going to break up anyway i dont really care how...
is that bad?
anyway so polly is calling me a slut and i am making both my best friends jealous...
okay with that, i know constantly going on and on about him is shit and i know that theres the whole thing with them not haveing had a boy friend before but i do it for a few reasons:
1). i am scared shitless of this guy and all guys in general! you have no idea he terrifies me, he is number two relationship and i still have no clue as to what the f**k to do! and i just need to talk about it and ask questions and try to find my way, i cant help it i need to learn
i go on and on about sex and all that and i make jokes and say that i want to loose my virginity as soon as i can and so on, but i dont and im only joking to cover my back, because i know nothing!
2). i am selfish, and totaly exited and i just want to show off to the world about this i mean I HAVE A BOYFRIEND (well hes not my boyfriend) but how amazing is that, there is a guy willing to risk rejection becuase he likes me that much, its just such an exillerating feeling!
its totaly egotistical but i dont give a...
okay thats all i got for a bit in other news, i was shocked to find out that Oli is Polly's second boyfriend... :O
i mean wow i would never had know i would have said he was atleast no. 5
also birthday news....NIEL GAIMAN HAS STARTED A NEW SERIES OF SANDMAN COMICS! \^o^/
i love the sandman, it is without doubt my fave graphic novel!
paradise kiss being my fave manga (wich can you belive it only goes up to 5 volumes! :'(
the sand,an is just exeptional! beyond words...just read it!
sigh...im awaiting the arival of Naruto 1, 2 and 4
and taroot cafe 2
i am such a good mood:D
ryan said he was clinging to me on our date when we were hugging, he used the word clinging...how cool is that! XD
hmm more to come...
untill then eat, sleep, dream
its been a very wierd week... apart from me turning 15 i have had to deal with some head shit...
i had a great birthday:D
ryan made bloody sure of that!XD
but he still has a girl friend, now personlay i see no problem with cheating... i know its shit and if he can cheat on her he will cheat on me, but honestly we are going to break up anyway i dont really care how...
is that bad?
anyway so polly is calling me a slut and i am making both my best friends jealous...
okay with that, i know constantly going on and on about him is shit and i know that theres the whole thing with them not haveing had a boy friend before but i do it for a few reasons:
1). i am scared shitless of this guy and all guys in general! you have no idea he terrifies me, he is number two relationship and i still have no clue as to what the f**k to do! and i just need to talk about it and ask questions and try to find my way, i cant help it i need to learn
i go on and on about sex and all that and i make jokes and say that i want to loose my virginity as soon as i can and so on, but i dont and im only joking to cover my back, because i know nothing!
2). i am selfish, and totaly exited and i just want to show off to the world about this i mean I HAVE A BOYFRIEND (well hes not my boyfriend) but how amazing is that, there is a guy willing to risk rejection becuase he likes me that much, its just such an exillerating feeling!
its totaly egotistical but i dont give a...
okay thats all i got for a bit in other news, i was shocked to find out that Oli is Polly's second boyfriend... :O
i mean wow i would never had know i would have said he was atleast no. 5
also birthday news....NIEL GAIMAN HAS STARTED A NEW SERIES OF SANDMAN COMICS! \^o^/
i love the sandman, it is without doubt my fave graphic novel!
paradise kiss being my fave manga (wich can you belive it only goes up to 5 volumes! :'(
the sand,an is just exeptional! beyond words...just read it!
sigh...im awaiting the arival of Naruto 1, 2 and 4
and taroot cafe 2
i am such a good mood:D
ryan said he was clinging to me on our date when we were hugging, he used the word clinging...how cool is that! XD
hmm more to come...
untill then eat, sleep, dream
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Sick
i knew it wasnt worth it, i think someone finds it funny to watch me go around spewing out how amazing it is to be with him, making all my freinds jealous, having to deal with that awkwardness.
the sick feeling i had for three days running because i was so nervous.
and now its all over with two smileys over msn and a name.
*heart* Kate *heart*
i never hated the other one but i hate her.
and i dont hate him.
i dont think its even sunk in.
exept the fact that i was right, im almost happy that i can say i am right, and that all men are the same and all men are cheating assholes.
i thought he was different, but so does every girl in every new relationship.
fuck him!
and i still dont hate him and i still want to be with him.
i cant belive it! he's wormed his way out of it and i know hes lying.
'i just couldnt say no' BOLLOCKS! or even if it was true, it just showes that im not that special.
as amazing as you say i am.
im just a little bit amazing, or not amazing enough.
sure youll sort it out, sure ill wait, you know i will
im just so sick of this.
so fucking sick.
the sick feeling i had for three days running because i was so nervous.
and now its all over with two smileys over msn and a name.
*heart* Kate *heart*
i never hated the other one but i hate her.
and i dont hate him.
i dont think its even sunk in.
exept the fact that i was right, im almost happy that i can say i am right, and that all men are the same and all men are cheating assholes.
i thought he was different, but so does every girl in every new relationship.
fuck him!
and i still dont hate him and i still want to be with him.
i cant belive it! he's wormed his way out of it and i know hes lying.
'i just couldnt say no' BOLLOCKS! or even if it was true, it just showes that im not that special.
as amazing as you say i am.
im just a little bit amazing, or not amazing enough.
sure youll sort it out, sure ill wait, you know i will
im just so sick of this.
so fucking sick.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
A Final Goodbye
Final Goodbye.
Endless nights chatting over the Internet had taught me much about him. So now it was simply putting a face and a voice to the words that had occupied my evenings for so long.
I liked him, I liked him a lot. He felt the same. I suppose you could call our romance one of the many new aged ‘internet relationships’ that as children we are warned so much against. Never talk to strangers. He was a friend of a friend but that made him no less of one. No less of a stranger.
Since we had arranged to meet, I hadn’t eaten such was my absolute terror at this new aspect of my life, something I had only read about. You cannot learn everything from a book. Boyfriends.
I was late even though I had made sure I’d left enough time. Our meeting place was to be outside Ottikas; shamefully I admitted, it was the only place I knew in town.
I got there expecting, I’m not sure what but there was certainly no prince charming standing outside waiting. I was wearing outrageous clothes in an attempt to get noticed, I hoped he would recognise me.
My first thought was that he wasn’t there, that I had been let down. Again. This in truth was our second attempt at a meeting. Our first had not happened for many reasons. So I stood, boiling in my own chemical juices feeling the adrenaline shooting through me, praying to any god that might listen, to let this work.
It was then that I noticed a person sitting on a bench opposite the entrance. On a double take and a heartbeat of anticipation hand in hand with terror, I realised that he matched the pictures and the description. He had an aura about him, he emanated self-confidence and relaxation. My perfect opposite. There was also something unsettling about the way he held himself. It was a closeness around him.
Catching his eye I was now certain it was him, and he sat watching me watching him. I smiled, more out of relief that he had the manner to show up than anything else. He stood. Now I could see him. Now I could finally look upon the one who had confessed deep feelings for me without even meeting me. Was he really real?
What was I seeing?
As he got up, he just kept getting up. He was so tall! At least two heads higher than me, or that is how it felt.
His eyes were shrouded in black-rimmed glasses. I would love with all my heart to confess that when our eyes met there was an electricity, a connection. It would be terribly romantic to have a spark and a sign from the heavens that this was blessed. I would also love to say that I can still remember the colour of his eyes, but I cannot on either account.
His hair was black and shoulder length, a much desirable trait yet he was not the picture that had infested my mind like an obsessive disease for the past week. After all the nights lying awake too full of anticipation and fear. Could it have been anything else, so built up in my mind was he?
There was my angel, too tall, muddy-eyed, adorned in dirty black clothes and smelling of smoke and leather.
I will never forget him. I never loved him, I never did and I never will but it was a nice fantasy. I still stayed there though and let him take my hand and hug me and walk with me. We had no trail of virgin white doves following us, no proclamation of undying love or pumpkin carriage to whisk us away to his castle, yet I was content.
I guess it was the egotistical idea that another human being with no obligation to ‘love’ me, did anyway. The idea I know now, after running this through my mind thousands of times (and will and thousand times more before I am through). It was the idea that made this meeting special. The idea, behind my black angel.
I was no longer a child. Its silly to think that five seconds in the company of a boy who knew nothing more than I did suddenly made me grow up. But that is what it was! A turning point but also a farewell. A silent goodbye to a now forbidden child.
It’s a funny feeling standing next to a person who has changed your life. Knowing that it is the ending to the first chapter to a small part of my story.
And another beginning.
Endless nights chatting over the Internet had taught me much about him. So now it was simply putting a face and a voice to the words that had occupied my evenings for so long.
I liked him, I liked him a lot. He felt the same. I suppose you could call our romance one of the many new aged ‘internet relationships’ that as children we are warned so much against. Never talk to strangers. He was a friend of a friend but that made him no less of one. No less of a stranger.
Since we had arranged to meet, I hadn’t eaten such was my absolute terror at this new aspect of my life, something I had only read about. You cannot learn everything from a book. Boyfriends.
I was late even though I had made sure I’d left enough time. Our meeting place was to be outside Ottikas; shamefully I admitted, it was the only place I knew in town.
I got there expecting, I’m not sure what but there was certainly no prince charming standing outside waiting. I was wearing outrageous clothes in an attempt to get noticed, I hoped he would recognise me.
My first thought was that he wasn’t there, that I had been let down. Again. This in truth was our second attempt at a meeting. Our first had not happened for many reasons. So I stood, boiling in my own chemical juices feeling the adrenaline shooting through me, praying to any god that might listen, to let this work.
It was then that I noticed a person sitting on a bench opposite the entrance. On a double take and a heartbeat of anticipation hand in hand with terror, I realised that he matched the pictures and the description. He had an aura about him, he emanated self-confidence and relaxation. My perfect opposite. There was also something unsettling about the way he held himself. It was a closeness around him.
Catching his eye I was now certain it was him, and he sat watching me watching him. I smiled, more out of relief that he had the manner to show up than anything else. He stood. Now I could see him. Now I could finally look upon the one who had confessed deep feelings for me without even meeting me. Was he really real?
What was I seeing?
As he got up, he just kept getting up. He was so tall! At least two heads higher than me, or that is how it felt.
His eyes were shrouded in black-rimmed glasses. I would love with all my heart to confess that when our eyes met there was an electricity, a connection. It would be terribly romantic to have a spark and a sign from the heavens that this was blessed. I would also love to say that I can still remember the colour of his eyes, but I cannot on either account.
His hair was black and shoulder length, a much desirable trait yet he was not the picture that had infested my mind like an obsessive disease for the past week. After all the nights lying awake too full of anticipation and fear. Could it have been anything else, so built up in my mind was he?
There was my angel, too tall, muddy-eyed, adorned in dirty black clothes and smelling of smoke and leather.
I will never forget him. I never loved him, I never did and I never will but it was a nice fantasy. I still stayed there though and let him take my hand and hug me and walk with me. We had no trail of virgin white doves following us, no proclamation of undying love or pumpkin carriage to whisk us away to his castle, yet I was content.
I guess it was the egotistical idea that another human being with no obligation to ‘love’ me, did anyway. The idea I know now, after running this through my mind thousands of times (and will and thousand times more before I am through). It was the idea that made this meeting special. The idea, behind my black angel.
I was no longer a child. Its silly to think that five seconds in the company of a boy who knew nothing more than I did suddenly made me grow up. But that is what it was! A turning point but also a farewell. A silent goodbye to a now forbidden child.
It’s a funny feeling standing next to a person who has changed your life. Knowing that it is the ending to the first chapter to a small part of my story.
And another beginning.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
French Romance
please dont knick this
eddyfencing@hotmail
the email to my edwwarrd.
i will never use it, yet cherish it...how sad is that.
its wierd. i mean its not even like he gave it to me. i got it off the girl who his friend likes. gahh i still likes him.
i might be getting a piccy of him soon *drool* la la la
(.fr)
on the life side of things... i am frustrated
imensly so very very much
and angry and annoyed
and and grrrrrrr
eddyfencing@hotmail
the email to my edwwarrd.
i will never use it, yet cherish it...how sad is that.
its wierd. i mean its not even like he gave it to me. i got it off the girl who his friend likes. gahh i still likes him.
i might be getting a piccy of him soon *drool* la la la
(.fr)
on the life side of things... i am frustrated
imensly so very very much
and angry and annoyed
and and grrrrrrr
Monday, February 06, 2006
a Greedy Girls Wish List
a collection of material things that would make this pige a very happy one:
blink 182 albums:
flyswatter
buddah
cheshire cat
dude ranch
enema of the state
take off your pants and jacket
and ryan :D xDDD
hmmm havent quite managed to get ryan as yet damm it...
more things comic wise:
soul fire 0-5
qwan 2 and 3
naruto 2, 5 and 6
princess AI 1
tarrot cafe 3
i think thats it
hat is all in the world right now but i shall be adding to it.
its nice to get it all written down :D
blink 182 albums:
flyswatter
buddah
cheshire cat
dude ranch
enema of the state
take off your pants and jacket
and ryan :D xDDD
hmmm havent quite managed to get ryan as yet damm it...
more things comic wise:
soul fire 0-5
qwan 2 and 3
naruto 2, 5 and 6
princess AI 1
tarrot cafe 3
i think thats it
hat is all in the world right now but i shall be adding to it.
its nice to get it all written down :D
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Needing
i feel very strange, like nothing is worth it.
its not worrieing, its just an emptyness.
i dont want to do anything, i dont want to watch t.v i dont want to not watch t.v i dont want to draw i dont want to listen to music i dont want to have silence
i want to do something but, i dont know what to do.
still sat half watching the t.v and half talking to people.
gah i hate this.
i feel like i need something exiting to happen, something new.
i need a male influence on my life, i need a balance.
i need something dammit!
its not worrieing, its just an emptyness.
i dont want to do anything, i dont want to watch t.v i dont want to not watch t.v i dont want to draw i dont want to listen to music i dont want to have silence
i want to do something but, i dont know what to do.
still sat half watching the t.v and half talking to people.
gah i hate this.
i feel like i need something exiting to happen, something new.
i need a male influence on my life, i need a balance.
i need something dammit!
Words
hmm not a particualy interesting day today.
quiet and i missed my jess, lunch was cool i tryed to write about how i felt the first time i met Todd, but it didnt work and i couldnt do it justise.
clarinet was fun, i have mixed feelings about it one minute i want to give it up and start singing lessons and the next i really get into it and enjoy it.
its like my hockey club, i think i may enjoy it more if i wasnt fourced into doing it.
i know that sounds alittle dramatic but i feel its just wasted on me because im not exelent at it and i could spend my time doing something i wanted? im not sure....
not much else to say listening to Fall Out Boy which reminds me
Hannah F was having a right go at my taste in music and guys in tech and i actualy got quiet offended i know its kinda pathetic but i am sort of proud of my music and it pisses me off when people just say 'oh that band they suck' or 'hes just a whiny git'
and ive forgotten my german books which means i have some work to catch up on tomorrow *sigh* i hate german so much.
in my room now waiting for parents to come back so i can start posting stuff onto my gallery (which i am really proud of by the by)
its nice having to think about the drawing in my comments because i know them so well, they have come full-circul and just become drawing again.
sincerely
Tarrigan
quiet and i missed my jess, lunch was cool i tryed to write about how i felt the first time i met Todd, but it didnt work and i couldnt do it justise.
clarinet was fun, i have mixed feelings about it one minute i want to give it up and start singing lessons and the next i really get into it and enjoy it.
its like my hockey club, i think i may enjoy it more if i wasnt fourced into doing it.
i know that sounds alittle dramatic but i feel its just wasted on me because im not exelent at it and i could spend my time doing something i wanted? im not sure....
not much else to say listening to Fall Out Boy which reminds me
Hannah F was having a right go at my taste in music and guys in tech and i actualy got quiet offended i know its kinda pathetic but i am sort of proud of my music and it pisses me off when people just say 'oh that band they suck' or 'hes just a whiny git'
and ive forgotten my german books which means i have some work to catch up on tomorrow *sigh* i hate german so much.
in my room now waiting for parents to come back so i can start posting stuff onto my gallery (which i am really proud of by the by)
its nice having to think about the drawing in my comments because i know them so well, they have come full-circul and just become drawing again.
sincerely
Tarrigan
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
A Hello To The World
well i think i have got the hang of this site now *touches wood*
(see other blog aptly named 'experiments' for an in-depth blow by blow account, basicly me having a rant and a panic attack at my computer screen)
so what is there left to say...
well i would like to invite you now to come with me and live life as best i can
this is a welcome to my life...
take it or leave it, if you have read this you have wasted your time on me wether you like it or not...
i hope you can learn from my mistakes and laugh at them too, it would atleast make one of us
until next time:
sleep, eat and dream
sincerely
Tarrigan
(see other blog aptly named 'experiments' for an in-depth blow by blow account, basicly me having a rant and a panic attack at my computer screen)
so what is there left to say...
well i would like to invite you now to come with me and live life as best i can
this is a welcome to my life...
take it or leave it, if you have read this you have wasted your time on me wether you like it or not...
i hope you can learn from my mistakes and laugh at them too, it would atleast make one of us
until next time:
sleep, eat and dream
sincerely
Tarrigan
The Beginning...
i suppose i should say welcome traveler to my world, at the risk of scaring you away.
this is my blog, my diary.
and what you see on these pages i hope very much will be the closest thing to me.
i make no promises.
i will probaly forget this site even exists soon.
but until then.
i wish you happy days and peacfull nights.
sincerely
Tarrigan
this is my blog, my diary.
and what you see on these pages i hope very much will be the closest thing to me.
i make no promises.
i will probaly forget this site even exists soon.
but until then.
i wish you happy days and peacfull nights.
sincerely
Tarrigan
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