Today Today...

well nothing happened today! fantastic it was the welcome break i needed so much has happened i just need some time to breath and look back on whats going on.
its been a very wierd week... apart from me turning 15 i have had to deal with some head shit...
i had a great birthday:D
ryan made bloody sure of that!XD
but he still has a girl friend, now personlay i see no problem with cheating... i know its shit and if he can cheat on her he will cheat on me, but honestly we are going to break up anyway i dont really care how...
is that bad?
anyway so polly is calling me a slut and i am making both my best friends jealous...
okay with that, i know constantly going on and on about him is shit and i know that theres the whole thing with them not haveing had a boy friend before but i do it for a few reasons:
1). i am scared shitless of this guy and all guys in general! you have no idea he terrifies me, he is number two relationship and i still have no clue as to what the f**k to do! and i just need to talk about it and ask questions and try to find my way, i cant help it i need to learn
i go on and on about sex and all that and i make jokes and say that i want to loose my virginity as soon as i can and so on, but i dont and im only joking to cover my back, because i know nothing!
2). i am selfish, and totaly exited and i just want to show off to the world about this i mean I HAVE A BOYFRIEND (well hes not my boyfriend) but how amazing is that, there is a guy willing to risk rejection becuase he likes me that much, its just such an exillerating feeling!
its totaly egotistical but i dont give a...

okay thats all i got for a bit in other news, i was shocked to find out that Oli is Polly's second boyfriend... :O
i mean wow i would never had know i would have said he was atleast no. 5
also birthday news....NIEL GAIMAN HAS STARTED A NEW SERIES OF SANDMAN COMICS! \^o^/
i love the sandman, it is without doubt my fave graphic novel!
paradise kiss being my fave manga (wich can you belive it only goes up to 5 volumes! :'(
the sand,an is just exeptional! beyond words...just read it!
sigh...im awaiting the arival of Naruto 1, 2 and 4
and taroot cafe 2
i am such a good mood:D
ryan said he was clinging to me on our date when we were hugging, he used the word clinging...how cool is that! XD

hmm more to come...
untill then eat, sleep, dream