Sick

i knew it wasnt worth it, i think someone finds it funny to watch me go around spewing out how amazing it is to be with him, making all my freinds jealous, having to deal with that awkwardness.
the sick feeling i had for three days running because i was so nervous.
and now its all over with two smileys over msn and a name.
*heart* Kate *heart*
i never hated the other one but i hate her.
and i dont hate him.
i dont think its even sunk in.
exept the fact that i was right, im almost happy that i can say i am right, and that all men are the same and all men are cheating assholes.
i thought he was different, but so does every girl in every new relationship.
fuck him!
and i still dont hate him and i still want to be with him.
i cant belive it! he's wormed his way out of it and i know hes lying.
'i just couldnt say no' BOLLOCKS! or even if it was true, it just showes that im not that special.
as amazing as you say i am.
im just a little bit amazing, or not amazing enough.
sure youll sort it out, sure ill wait, you know i will
im just so sick of this.
so fucking sick.