Juda.

i feel totaly betrayed. totaly and utterly.
i bent over backwards and got into loads of trouble with my mum to organise this thing on friday for katie and kit and now they cant even date, or meet up on friday!
its fucking things like this that makes me just not want to bother!
what the fuck, for fucks sake they tear apart a friendship group for what is now nothing.
i dont belive kit when he says its his parents fault i dont belive him one bit.
jesus chirst. and i bumped into katie in town today with tahmina and she looked really guilty like shed been caught out, and it was really awkward talking to both of them. im so scared that she doesnt like me any more for some reason. ive done so much for her, if she stabs me in the back im going to snap and she is going to fucking wish she'd chosen her friends more carfully.
i mean, i tryed to organise her coming over to mine so many times and shes just out with tahmina like that.
fuck them both.

i hate people i fucking hate them! FUCK YOU! im so frustrated, i want to cry.
i wish id moved to a different school.
i want Will back its been two days of two weeks and i just want a hug.

why the fuck does she have to be so fucking stupid around guys!? i hate the person she is with when shes around other people. its not her and its sickeningly fake. it sickens me it does! fucking emo piece of shit.
go and pick flowers not war see if i give a shit.
i'll burn you along with your pointless sloganed t-shirts.

i cant belive you never knoticed.

at times like this, there is really only Leonard Choen.
Four o'clock in the afternoon
and I didn't feel like very much.
I said to myself, "Where are you golden boy,
where is your famous golden touch?"
I thought you knew where
all of the elephants lie down,
I thought you were the crown prince
of all the wheels in Ivory Town.
Just take a look at your body now,
there's nothing much to save
and a bitter voice in the mirror cries,
"Hey, Prince, you need a shave."
Now if you can manage to get
your trembling fingers to behave,
why don't you try unwrapping
a stainless steel razor blade?
That's right, it's come to this,
yes it's come to this,
and wasn't it a long way down,
wasn't it a strange way down?

There's no hot water
and the cold is running thin.
Well, what do you expect from
the kind of places you've been living in?
Don't drink from that cup,
it's all caked and cracked along the rim.
That's not the electric light, my friend,
that is your vision growing dim.
Cover up your face with soap, there,now you're Santa Claus.
And you've got a gift for anyonewho will give you his applause.
I thought you were a racing man,
ah, but you couldn't take the pace.
That's a funeral in the mirror
and it's stopping at your face.
That's right, it's come to this,
yes it's come to this,and wasn't it a long way down,
ah wasn't it a strange way down?

Once there was a path
and a girl with chestnut hair,
and you passed the summer
spicking all of the berries that grew there;
there were times she was a woman,
oh, there were times she was just a child,
and you held her in the shadows
where the raspberries grow wild.
And you climbed the twilight mountains
and you sang about the view,
and everywhere that you wandered
love seemed to go along with you.
That's a hard one to remember,
yes it makes you clench your fist.
And then the veins stand out like highways,
all along your wrist.
And yes it's come to this,
it's come to this,
and wasn't it a long way down,
wasn't it a strange way down?

You can still find a job,
go out and talk to a friend.
On the back of every magazine
there are those coupons you can send.
Why don't you join the Rosicrucians,
they can give you back your hope,
you can find your love with diagrams
on a plain brown envelope.
But you've used up all your coupons
except the one that seemsto be written on your wrist
along with several thousand dreams.
Now Santa Claus comes forward,
that's a razor in his mit;
and he puts on his dark glasses
and he shows you where to hit;
and then the cameras pan,
the stand in stunt man,
dress rehearsal rag,
it's just the dress rehearsal rag,
you know this dress rehearsal rag,
it's just a dress rehearsal rag.