Addicted to me.

ah had such a wonderful weekends AWESOME to be honest, utter win and wizardry.
but it also means i am way too tired to talk about it, so i am leaving topic titles which i shall come back to at later dates.

meal on friday night
day with jon
day with Rob.

thats about it.
shall elabourate when i can type without falling asleep on the keyboa\SLDJFH;OAWHROF;\VEWOXNOWEuf'petwhysgo\d/gbmzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzz

okay well carrying on from yesturday.
im sure you're all salavating at the idea of being informed about my weekend.
i'll start with:
Meal on Friday:
it was awesome! totally and utterly! we got into town with Chris, Kit, Beckie McWirter myself Will and Katie (kit was being really horrible to beckie and i told him off seriously, he sulked because he knew i was right but he gave her a hug and she was better, its really not good though, because she is only the way she is because she has no self confidence and she only has no self confidence because she gets the shit ripped out of her and she only gets the shit ripped out of her because of the way she is, she cant help it) anyway, met up with Steve and Andy, gave presents (well, cards. because the presents were non-existant) Steve got really excieted about the Nightwish tickets and Andy (who was hyper aready) squeaked and did a little dance of what i hope was happiness and aprichiation. then on to burgerking because starbucks was full and it was the only place that was warm and non expencive. Kit and i played Will and Katie at Yu-Ghui-Oh and kicked their butts, but that was only because katie was really pre-occupied with her dad who is a fucking psycho bastard! i hate him! on a happier note, WE BUMPED INTO TAHMINA! it was awesome and i realised how much i missed her, i spent ages hugging her and just looking at her really, because well i just did. but i only realised how much untill i'd seen her again. so onwards back to Wills house to dump our bags, watched some of 300 (PIPPA REGAN WANT KISSYWISSY) and then it was time to walk to Pizza Express. got threre and obviously i had to take hand of the group and lead them into the bowls of the restaurant >.<
fuck i had a load more to say but it seems to have disapeared...
what the fuck?
this makes me sad.
ohwell, you dont want to read this shit anyway.
Day With Jon:
next day woke up, Andy was the first to go then chris and i left at 11 together and took the bus to Gloucester. i had to borrow Will's MCR hoodie because Kit had my NMBC one, i'd left it in his bag >.<
what the fuck MORE STUFF MISSING! how is this happening, oh this is NOT hobbycraft!
fuck fuck fuck.
just imagine what happens between meeting Jon and going to see ST Trinians.
it was aweful, utter shit. it relied on pure shock factor to get pittiful laughs and even then it wasnt even that good. it just made me angry. and it had a group of Goths, masquerading as EMOS! it wasnt even the other way round! it tagged them as emos but they were gothic! (but all the steriotypes acted like chavs so it didnt really matter) plus the leading lady (head girl) wasnt strong enough to pull of her character and had to rely on her looking the part. it was just....
ANYWAY.
it was kinda a little bit awkward here and there but only because we were waiting around for the film, and you know how that affects conversation. when we talked we really talked it was nice. then we bumped into my neighbours coming out of the cinema, obviously they though Jon was my boyfriend... it was kinda funny really. oh well. Jon got me a Marylin Manson CD and 'Mars Attacks' for christmas. the CD has Beautiful People on there and MA is okay, but i knew what was going to happen in the end so it kinda ruined it for me.
Day With Rob:
*squeaks and giggles*
okay okay okay, basicly. met him 12:00am outside Wortikas (and he was with Sarah Spencer, a girl from my old school which was so cool, she looked like the grown up version of herself you know what i mean, she just got older her face hadnt changed at all! i squealed alot and danced and hugged) anyway i was wearing that corset/top i bought in Belgum and my cards skirt and my gothcoat, i thought i looked quiet good, but mum though i looked really childish, which made me sad for a bit and made me almost change my mind but then i thought (quiet rightly) what does she know *grins* yeah he looked like a tramp >.< i can never get why he can dress up for crackers in the best metal gear ive seen for ages, and then look like a nerd the next day in a fleece and trainers *shakes head* a fleece i tell you! anyway, i guess its just who he is. he picked up and swung round hugged me which was nice and then he took me by the arm and we began the day. its strange, around him i kinda feel like i can shut up and just let him talk and the conversation will take its corse, i dont feel like i have to perform, or be this extroverted loud girl. he useually has something to talk about, be it 'toy soldiers' as he calls it (war hammer) or how much he hates everything. ahhh he has so much hate its so good, we have a good bitch about alot of things. we talked alot about our families actually, his dad's disabled (his stepfather i presume actually... i think his real dad eiher ran out on him mum, or was an alcoholic and died because he mentioned something about a liver transplant list in one of his rants) but im not sure how much i think wheelchair because it was a car crash that did it. his mum is neurotic aparently *laughs* he said she ruined his life because she used to be a makeup artist for Casualty and so because he knows (through default) about all that sort of thing, he cant ever watch horror movies without thinking 'that bloods the wrong colour for that time of exposiour' or 'it doesnt spurt out of an artery that way' or 'burn wounds dont go like that'. when i said how cool i thought his mum was he replied 'try being a six year old having to answer the door with a latex gun shot in the middle of your forhead' she would practice on him. he said she used to go to gloucester royal casualty when it was raining and take pictures of the crash victims...
i think i picked a good'un.
then we whent to the Angel Chef for chinese, i wasn't impressed, but then when we got in there, the food was suprisingly good! so i ignored the plastic plates and just had a good time. he knew a guy working there which was cool and we chatted to him whilst we waited for our table (which had been booked, i dont know i think thats cool) and then when the waiter came to get us drinks he knoticed my Garra and Lee keychain and was like 'whats that?' i said it was from a cartoon and he goes 'Naruto yes? i have all the books!' of corse i squeeed and Rob said he was happy to have made my day.
then came the real test! it was a serve yourself buffet, FULL of cultural minefields, now i am not bragging in saying i know what to do, but i know that when eating in an oriental restaurant, you DO NOT pick chips and you DO NOT eat with knives and forks, so i followed behind Rob to see what he'd do. anyway he let me pick my bowl and cutlery first and as i whent for the chopsticks he says 'oh thankgod, you can use them can you? finally someone who can eat with chopsticks!' *insert long squee* so after we had a good old bitch about silly people who eat chinese with forks we move onto the food. i stand there thinking if he picks chips im going to cry. he doesnt *phew* and as we sat down he says to me 'im so glad you didnt chose chips' i almost exploded. he'd been testing me on the same things. i told him i would have dumped him right then and there had he chosen chips and he said he understood.
so ensue much eating and laughing and jolity and such. then after the plates have been cleared away he hands me this little box and on opening i find this beautiful necklace. now i knew he was going to get me jewlery, but i could just envision this minimalistic art neuvo piece of shit with a boring sliver of silver and a few studs in it. i dont know what i would have done if it had been like that. but it wasnt. its this really pretty thing, a diamond shape about as big as the pad of your thumb with a big crystal in the middle and little cyrstals in a smaller diamond around it, its silver on a filagree chain and its frilly enough to be gothic (almost victorian), but not enough that its, you know, something i could only wear as a goth, and its just that little bit over the top that it gets sort of knoticed. abit like Rob really. just a bit over the top. i grinned like a stupid person for an age and then said it wouldnt be propour to thank him to the full extent of my gratitude in a public place. he was cool with that.
onto The Golden Compass. the movie theater was packed with small kids, so we had to behave ourselves which was okay, we just held hands and i had my head on his sholder and he had his on my head. the film was okay, not amazing, not dismal, a damn sight better that ST but thats not saying ANYTHING. i think i would have liked it less had i read the book, Rob said it was nothing like it. but Nichole Kidman was good and the girl playing Lyra was alright, nothing special and still very much a child actor.
we got out of the movie with ages to go till my parents came to collect me so Rob suggested we go to his local haunt 'The Pig in the City'. its down past burger star and its awesome! its really empty exept the small collection of bikers and metal heads in the back corner singing really loudly to Queen 'Fat Bottom Girls' which was playing from the 'country juke box' which had (Rob assured me) only one country song on it, the rest was Metalica and Queen. we sat next to the metal heads in a sort of tavernesque room with a pool table in the middle and empty wooden beer barels serving as tables for the people stood up playing pool. we were sat at a table in the corner on a long wooden bench. i had half a pint of Hobb Goblin (ale) which is Robs favourite drink and its quiet passable, considering i dont like beer. Though i had to be careful not to reveal the fact that after a few mouthfuls, the warm tingely feeling was spreading up my legs and everything was becoming that much funnier. i didnt have a second glass.
i met two of his friends Monkey and another guy i cant remember the name of. noone knows why everyone calls him Monkey, they just do. i didnt even get his real name. but he was tall and gangely and really good at pool. aparently he'd spent most of his life around a pool table. so he beat Rob and me at a game. he was really nice sort of quiet not particularly funny, he looked like a goth version of Mousey (matrix obviously). then with half an hour to kill we left just as the band had begun to play and Rob said they did goth nights every first friday of the month. we had to get to the cathederal and Rob said he knew a different way. we walked under the moon through some really beautiful deralict buildings before he realised he was talking bollocks and he had no idea how to get there. but the buildings were amazing. the kind of beautiful that old drain pipes are, crawling up the side of grey flats. we went under a sort of tunnle and Rob started laughing and he told me about the time they played paintball around the buildings.
then we got to Pitt street and all the benches were freezing cold and wet so we had to stand up.
we hadn't kissed propourly all day, it was nice that we had managed that really. we'd esentially just been talking for six hours. so yeah. he smelt so good. of smoke and you know, skin i guess. we kinda got abit carried away and got yelled at by a couple of chavs but you know, they were just jealous :P
he was kinda pushy, but i dont think i minded. its kinda nice to be the female in a relationship for once ¬_¬
i got a bit frustrated because i think he doesnt like biting, so i didnt but then he bite me really hard (i have a mark, my parents are not impressed but fuck 'em, i like it) and i got all confused... i have to look into this. then my dad turned up and he came along to say hi. he shook dads hand which dad liked and then left.
i probably wont be seeing him for ages but i dont mind. he said i can cheet on him as much as i want as long as i dont bring it into the relationship, which i think is great. he also said that the best realtionship he had was one were he and his boyfriend were actually cheating on each other with the same person and none of them knew till months later!
it made me laugh.
i like him alot. i even got some Will feelings when i was around him which was good.
Today:
wow it's christmas eve, didnt see that one coming! i got up and my little sister bounced up to me and was like 'mel its christmas tomorrow!' and i was all like 'WOAH really!?' it doesnt feel like it at all. its strange. but im okay with it, im looking forward to it being over. i really dont like it.
i dont know whats going on in my family right now, its got to the point were i dont think i can remember what it was like when my parents didnt hate each other. this cloud thats decided to rain over the house seems to have tainted everything. i am not looking forward to christmas.
my dad is angry for some unknown reason. as always and i was just angry at him it wasnt fair, the irony of the situation was if i hadnt been the one cleaning the table at time i wouldnt have got shouted at. so i decided i was going to prevoke him. i think this was the first time i have activly decided to do so, and it was so easy. and i just.
i want us to be a happy family again.
but i cant ever remember if we were one?